Two o'clock Tasting & Keto Tip (Day 6) "How To Get Your Spouse on Board" | Keto Mom
Keto Mom here!
You can't force anybody to do anything, and I think we know this especially with our older age. The way that we all get stuck in the ways that we do things. We should all be open to change. You can't force it, and it's going to take time and patience. But they will join you when they're ready. So just be the encourager, be the support, and lead by example
Points to Ponder:
01:01 One Day a Time, One Meal at a Time and Learning As We Go
01:43 To Whom Much is Given, Much is Expected
02:31 All About Ketones
02:48 Benefits of Ketones
02:57 Keto Tip: How To Get Your Spouse on Board
04:16 Post 5 in the comments for my Mom Fuel
04:44 How do you change somebody?
04:56 The Tilted Tree
05:48 Lesson: "You can't force anybody to do anything"
06:01 We Should All Be Open to Change
06:45 Be a Supportive Role
07:12 Tips to Help Somebody Join You
08:20 Simply Share, Don't Bark
09:15 Be Positive About It
10:13 Encourage Them To Try It With You
10:58 Find Inner Strength to Keep Going
11:14 Plug Into a Community with the same Goals
13:19 Lead by Example
13:27 Vision Boards and Little Post It Notes
15:45 I Coach Our Girls
16:12 My Fourteen-Year-Old is Very Focused
17:10 The Power of Food
18:37 Flavor of the day: "Elderflower Blackberry"
Full Episode Transcript
All right! It's that time again! Welcome to the Keto mom page. I'm calling this an afternoon Tasting. If you watch my live this morning, I look the same. I just got done working out, and I really wanted to come on here and pretend like I had my life altogether. I have not changed after my workout, but we did get some school done. So that's a positive and also some yard work done. For those of you who are brand new to the page, welcome! My name is Stephanie, and we have been on this Keto, Low Carb journey for over six years, just basically sharing with you what we have learned. Whether it's recipes, different tips or tricks, or anything along the way. We just say "Hey, here's what we've learned. Here, try this!"... There's no Pinterest perfect looking lifestyle. It's been one day at a time, one meal at a time, and learning as we go. So oftentimes, you will get me, all of my workout glory, my homeschool glory, and non showered glory. Good thing this is not a scratch and sniff because I have been doing yard work.
And just so you know, we live on a lake. We have been putting all of our water toys away. We have a 40-acre lake that we've been super blessed with, and we love it. We had an entire water system of toys out there, and we've been pulling them in, cleaning them, and deflating them. It has been a lot of work.
But to whom much is given much is expected, and we are expected to take care of the things we are blessed with.
So as you're tuning in, I know you're laughing. Good thing this is not a scratch and sniff, and I am going to shower because my girls have volleyball games tonight. And I probably should be the mom that's not stinky. But anyway, I'm coming on here because every day I've been shaking up Ketones. I'm going to shake up a flavor I found in the cupboard today, it was just on a shelf hiding.
And so I'm going to shake up a flavor that was more of a spring-summer flavor. Maybe you've never seen it, but you can't get it right now actually. So anyway, I'm going to shake it up because I thought it would be fun to shake up a new flavor for you.
I have been drinking these Ketones for six and a half years. They're incredible! It is a tool, it puts you in Ketosis in under an hour. It's just a matter of putting it in some water, shaking or stirring it up, drinking it, and then you've got Ketones in your body or in your system. Which helps with energy, focus, appetite control, better mood, better sleep, it's incredible.
As I'm sharing with you, I'm going to talk about "How to get your spouse on board". Or maybe it's a friend like often I have people ask "How do I get somebody to join me?", "How do I get my mom to do this with me? She really needs some fat loss, or she really complains all the time. And she just needs some help"... The question is "How do I get somebody to join me?".
Usually, it falls under a spouse or somebody that you're living with. I had a really great story told to me today by one of my friends. I had a great conversation this morning with my friend, Jolene. She had some great coaching from one of her mentors, and she told me a story that was used in a general sense. And so I'm going to use it right here on your health journey. I thought it was an incredible analogy, and I have to share it...
Did you know that if you take something that you've learned, even if you don't understand it perfectly yet, but when you take something that you've learned and you reteach it, you're anchoring it into yourself, even more, therefore you're going to use it or remember it? The sooner you take what you've learned, and reteach it, use it and put action behind it, you will remember it, anchor it and utilize it.
So I thought I have to share this story because I love it... And by the way, as I'm stirring up my Mom Fuel, if at any point you want to know more about my mom fuel in the future, just post five in the comments. I'll send some videos for you to watch the short videos from some of the doctors and scientists. I would love to know, connect with you on your goals, what you're looking for, and make sure you understand it. So post five in the comments and I'll tell you more about my Mom Fuel in a second...
But here's what I want you to understand, my friend was coach this morning and the question was "How do you change somebody?", "Can you change somebody?".
Like when you when you feel you're going this way and this person's going that way, you're not quite meeting together. And so the story was, right now let's say you walk outside, and let's say you have a tree in your yard. But the tree is tilted funny, and it's not supposed to be growing sideways. But what happens if you go outside, you grab the whole tree and you try to make it straight? What's going to happen to the tree? It's going to break, or it's going crack. Because the tree is already growing sideways, it's implanted, it's embedded, and it has its roots way down. It's an older tree. And so the advice my friend's mentor gave her is, "You can't force anybody to do anything"... And I think we know this, especially with our older age. The way that we all get stuck in the ways that we do things. We should all be open to change... So if you try to move the tree, you're going to crack it, you're going to break it or you're going to sever the tree.
Same thing with the people that are around you, if you are being boisterous about your diet, your lifestyle, or you're being angry or mad and you keep wondering why they are not supporting you, why aren't they helping you, why aren't they eating this way or you tell other people that they keep complaining that they're fat, but they're not doing anything about it...
If you keep going after the person that isn't joining you, that person that you hear griping about their life but not willing to change, and you try to gank them your way? You're going to break them, you're going to crack them and you're going to sever the relationship. There's got to be a supportive role from you, in order to have somebody join you. What I mean by that is, if you try to go after them, they're going to break just like the tree. It's not going to work, because nobody wants to be told exactly what to do. People want to have their own ideas, they want to make sure it was there. Like "I'm going to decide when I'm going to make the change", "I don't want anybody else to tell me"... And so here's a couple of things that you can do to help support the person that you want to join you. So for example, you're not going to go outside and yank the tree straight, because you'll break it. But what you can do is go outside to your tree, and you can put a supportive brace underneath it. And every week or two, you can move the brace ever so slightly with much grace and poise. And eventually the tree, with some bracing, supporting, patience and consistency. Eventually, the tree will learn how to grow upwards. I hope this is making sense...
So what that would look like in your life, especially if you feel like you're all by yourself and your spouse isn't supporting you, but you want them to do this with you. I want you to think about yourself as the support. You're not going to break them, you're not going to sever the relationship, you're not going to be angry, and you're not going to force it. But you're going to be the support.
And what that looks like is Number One... You don't need to bark at anybody about what you're eating or what you're doing. You can simply share if they ask you. You don't have to walk into the co-worker's lounge and be like "I'm Keto and I cannot eat those doughnuts", or "I cannot believe that you're eating those"... Some people are very boisterous. Like you almost made your co-workers feel degraded that they ate that donut. What if that was the first time somebody has had a sweet treat in a month?... So people learn more, and more is caught than taught. People are watching you, your family is watching you. They're observing you, and they're seeing you do the action first. They're not going to just follow your words, but they're going to watch you do it first. If they watch you, then go do it. If they see you consistently doing it and see you changing, so no barking at people. No making them feel less than just because they're not on the same journey as you are.
Number Two is "Be Positive About It"... I get to do this. I get to go for my walk. I get to go work out. Let's say you're at a restaurant and everybody's eating. You know all of the fried food around you and you're like "I get to have this salad", "I'm so thankful", "I feel great when I make good choices"... Be positive!
If you're going to sit there and you want somebody to join you but you're constantly going "Oh, I have to eat the broccoli", "I can't believe you're eating those french fries in front of me, you know I'm on a diet"...
People are watching you, your spouse is watching you. They're going to be more apt to join you if you're supportive, if you're positive, and if you're not barking down their throat.
If you're going to encourage little things, like let's say you ordered vegetables and they don't love them. You can say "Hey, I actually figured out a way to make these Brussel sprouts taste great. Why don't you try one?" Encourage them to try it with you, stop talking about how fat you are, how fat they are... "Hey, I feel so great", "Man, I didn't realize when I started this lifestyle, I could go for a long walk or I can go for a bike ride", "Did you know I walked up those stairs and I wasn't even out of breath", "Oh my goodness, I can't wait", "We're going on a vacation in December and look at these pants they fit", "I feel so great"...
What happens if you switch the words and switched your mindset. In order for you to get support from somebody else, I feel like you're looking at it the wrong way. That person isn't there to support you, you're there to support them. Encourage them, to help them and hopefully join you. And if they don't ever do it, then we've got to be able to find the inner desire and the inner strength to keep us going. Even if we're by ourselves...
That's why you can tune in here because every single person that's in here is on some type of Low Carb Keto journey. Every person in here is hoping to get healthier, stronger, fitter or thinner. And so plug into a community of people that are all on the same boat. They're all doing it and they're all going forward.
Connect with some people on social media and say "Hey, you look super nice", "Looks like you're a mom, I'm a mom too", "I'd love to connect with you", "I'm looking for an accountability partner"... Just tune in here and say "Hey, this is my check-in", "This is my day 60"...
How long has everybody been in here doing this? I'd love to know. "How long have you been on this Low Carb Keto journey?". Share below, has it been a week or a year? We're here to work together. This isn't just my journey, but it's all of your journeys too. And while we would love to have everybody in our home on the same supportive path, everybody has their own timeline. My husband started his Keto journey two years before I joined him. We had a baby, and I did not join him until about she was eighteen months.
And I actually helped him fail miserably. I ate lots of crap in front of him and I was not supportive. I helped him fail. Often I would make meals that I knew were not lined up with his goals. That was rude of me. I didn't want to do it, and I didn't understand it. It felt like a lot of work and overwhelming. But he never pushed me to do it, but finally, it got to the point where he was like "Nope! I'm going to do this. It's okay! I'll come home and make my own food". And I felt like a bad wife, I should probably help. He was never rude. He was never hurtful. He never said I had to join him. And then gradually, he'd be like "Why don't you try the broccoli". And I'd be like "I hate broccoli". He's like "You've never had it". I'm like "I know you're right. But it's green, and I don't like anything green"... And so if you can just switch your attitude and your mindset to go "Okay, I'm going to be encouraging", "I am their support", "They're the tree that's growing sideways"...
Because clearly, they should probably want to get healthy, so I'm going to help them start getting healthier. By being their support and not the nagging person I have been in the past. So just pay attention to what you say and lead by example. Encourage them, and say "Hey, try this"...
And lastly, I would just say vision boards. If you have your vision board up in your home, other people in your home can see it. They can see what you're going after and that's encouraging other people. Put little post-it notes around your house of little sayings like "Don't mess up good for perfect".
Put it on your refrigerator. Ask yourself "Am I hungry or am I bored?"... Any positive quotes that can really make you think before you eat or act out of emotions. Get post-it notes and put them on your mirror, in your car saying "Do you really need to go out to eat or can you go home and make something?". Put them in your microwave, put them in your refrigerator. Put them in the snack cupboard. Be the encourager, be the support, lead by example. And you might be shocked at how many family members, co-workers, and friends eventually follow you because they've seen you be consistent over time. So that is my keto Tip of the Day... For whatever it's worth a handful of you said "I don't know how to encourage my spouse", "I don't know how to get them on board"...
You can't force it, and it's going to take time and patience. But they will join you when they're ready if they're ever ready. And if they're not, then this is your journey, not theirs... Okay lastly, yes! My kids eat what we eat. In the very beginning, I never talked about being fat and this could even be parents to kids. I did not talk about being fat. I did not talk about being overweight. My husband didn't say he wanted to lose fifty pounds or like, it wasn't daddy's food. We just said, when I decided to get on board, we're going to all get healthy together.
So I said "Every time I make something, mommy's learning, I'm going to try a new vegetable. We're all going to try a new vegetable"... And so we tried it together. We tried broccoli, we tried cauliflower, and we tried all of the things. It never was a diet to us. It was like "Why don't we all get healthy and strong".
Eventually, as the girls have grown up, they're fourteen, twelve, ten, and eight years old. We've got four daughters and that comes with a lot of working through hormones. Working through images, like how they look and what they want to look like. And we're constantly reinforcing their body image, how they should feel, and taking care of their body now so they don't have to fall into the trap of taking care of it when they're an adult. So I do coach our girls on paying attention to "If you're hungry if you're not". We talked about the importance of not eating a lot of crap. You can have a treat, but you don't need five cupcakes. Why don't you have one cupcake instead? Let's drink water. We don't buy pop, we don't buy juice and we keep healthier snacks in our home. We're not perfect. The girls are not Keto. They don't track their food, but they eat salads for lunch, they eat fish for lunch.
My fourteen-year-old daughter is very focused on being healthy and getting strong. So she works out, she runs on the treadmill and she's eating low carb wraps with meat and cheese. She's eating when she's hungry. She's looking at healthy recipes to make and I don't think that's bad.
Some people say do you feel like you're going to give your kids a stigma? And I say no. I feel bad if kids aren't taught how to be healthy now. Because they're going to be in the same place you are today. I'm not trying to be rude about it. I'm just saying if you can't have an honest conversation with your child. I mean, I don't know the statistics in America, and maybe you're not from America.
But it's not a secret that our country is overweight. It's not a secret that children are. And again, I'm not trying to be a rude mom or say that your kids need to be on a diet. I'm just simply saying it is super important. Whether your child is eight, seven, nine, twelve, or sixteen, for sure you can lead by example and help them understand the power of food. And if they can do it right now, then they don't have to deal with it when they're your age.
And so it's not like you will never get a treat, there's plenty of treats every single time we step out our door. There's no shortage of sugar anywhere, and never say no you can't have that. If they ever have something too much at a party and one of my daughters will say like "Oh, I feel like garbage", "My stomach hurts"... I'd be like "Go to the bathroom, you're probably going to get flushed out. How many cookies did you eat? Five? Do you think that was a wise choice? No"... But she needs to figure it out. She needs to figure out how to eat one cookie and not five. She needs to figure out how her body's feeling and how it's reacting to food. And they know that and they're learning. I would easily love to have five cookies, but I know that if I do, it's going to seriously mess up my stomach...
And so I don't make more than one meal, we make one meal. And we eat basic tacos, different things like that. It's not terrible meals, they're great! And our kids have learned to love veggies... So I hope that was helpful. If you have any other questions at all, along with lifestyle or foods continue to tune into the page for recipes. I'd love for you to press the share button, so you can invite other people to join you on the journey and to follow along and have support.
If you want to know more about my Mom Fuel, this one tastes like a spring flavor but you can't get this one right now. It's good, it's called "Elderflower Blackberry". It tastes like Blackberry and it's delicious. This is my tool, I love it. I honestly feel like it makes me a better mom.
It helps me keep up with our daughters and it helps me stay calm. But to also have the energy to never take a nap in my entire life, because I don't have time to sleep. I've got stuff to do. So if you want to know more about my Mom Fuel, if you want to know about a trial pack, if you just want to talk I'd love to. I'd love to talk to you. So post five in the comments. Reach out with any questions that you have. I hope you guys have an incredible afternoon and we'll talk to you soon.
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