Updated: Oct 11, 2021
Keto Mom here!
So if you exercise today, perhaps you won't see the weight loss right away. If you're saving money or saving for your retirement, you're going to see it after a decade. We live in a scientific world, we don't like this delayed return environment. If it's something that requires work or if you're creating a good habit, it's not going to always feel great in the beginning. You might feel sore, you might feel deprived, but it's going to be work and long term, you're going to be thankful for it.
Points to Ponder
03:08 Have an awareness of the habits that you have
03:28 The cardinal rule of behavior change
04:23 Make it satisfying
04:35 An instant society
06:37 Set yourself up for success
09:32 It doesn't matter
09:53 Are you willing to put in hard work
10:18 You did not get there overnight
10:43 Get your mindset right
10:52 You're planting seeds
11:20 Work on the things that you can control
12:40 Do not reward yourself with food
12:57 Get back on track
13:45 Chapter summary
Full Episode Transcript
Hi everybody! I hope you're having an incredible day. Welcome to the Keto Mom page, we are still going through "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Every morning I pop on here. it's been a little bit later due to horse camp and a couple of things that I'm doing in the mornings until I get back home. Our morning started off quite early, the girls have early volleyball camp, and so we have to leave at 6:30 in the morning. We've got horse camp later mid morning, and then ballet camp in the evenings, it's been a lot of fun. So first of all, where are you tuning in from? Are you enjoying your summer or are you doing anything fun for the Fourth of July weekend? We are going to go to a family camp. I don't think we're going to family camp because we have a camp in our backyard, but I think we're just going to chill. So we've been pretty go go go, and well, that's kind of our life.
So what are you doing for the Fourth of July? Do you do fireworks, do you do grill outs. We will probably have some friends or family over and we are going to grill. My husband just bought a 16 pound brisket that he's going to grill for sixteen hours. Watch my Instagram or Facebook stories, and stay tuned for that, that will be fun and I'm sure it'll be delicious. So we're going to grill, we always grill. Our life is pretty predictable, but we move pretty quickly.
So as you're tuning in, I do have a couple questions for those of you who have been going through the book with us every morning. I have an actual serious question I need to know, I come on and go through the chapter in the morning, some of you might not be on the chapter that I'm on. Or maybe it's easier for you to read throughout the day. Would you prefer for me to come on in the evenings or would it be easier to do an evening one and kind of check in, like go back and forth? Or do you prefer the mornings to start off your day?... If you're at work, this is a later morning, I'll get back on track Friday.
We also have friends staying with us, and our mornings are just a little off. But I'm still doing the things I need to do, it's just a little bit different. So the point of this book is to create habits and systems to get to your goals, and to keep it a long term lifestyle. So if you're going through it and you're checking in every single day, would you prefer morning or night? We're going through "Atomic Habits" by James Clear right now. We just finished with the "Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod, and it's incredible. After this, we're going to go through the book called "The Travelers Gift" by Andy Andrews, by the end of the month. I'm going to go briefly over chapter Fifteen. This book is awesome, because there's always a summary at the end. Read it at your pace, or you can tune in here and I'll read some of it to you.
But the point is for you to realize and to be aware or have an awareness of the habits that you have, good or bad, mostly bad.
What are some of the things that you don't know why you do that, you need to change that. or clearly you don't want that outcome so you need to work on different systems. That's what he talks about right now, and the book has a ton of science. It's data driven, with lots of stories in the very beginning of chapter fifteen. It's the cardinal rule of behavior change. He tells a lot of stories, but ultimately he says this, the fourth rule that he's going over
"You need to make the change that you're going after, satisfying. We are more likely to repeat a behavior when the experience is satisfying"...
Most people don't love to go to the gym and then feel that soreness, like I can't move. I'm going to guess most people don't love that soreness or feeling but I love to be sore. My daughter loves to be sore too, because if we're sore and we can't move, then it means it worked and we're doing it right. That is actually satisfying for me.
So he talks about when you're working on a change, or changing a behavior, a pattern or a system, you have to make it satisfying.
He also tells a story of around a thousand years ago, and how we did not have technology like we have today. Now we live in an instant society, and that's why oftentimes people don't stick to a habit or creating the systems because we want results right now. I want to hop on my social media right now, order something on Amazon, and I want it delivered to my house right now. And so that has caused a little bit of a hiccup... Okay, side note we live on an old rock quarry. We bought this lake, it's a 40 acre lake and it's all ours. On the other side of the lake, there's other people that have lakes, but there's a rock quarry being blasted and it just blasted. I can feel it my whole house and I don't love it. That's a note, I can share more about that later, but they just blasted and shook my house. On a second note, we have some friends staying with us from Oklahoma and they have a thirteen year old son. He's never seen Rocky, so they introduced him to Rocky and they're watching it right now. It's a little bit crazy in my home, but it's all fun.
Okay, going back... We're talking about satisfaction or being satisfied and going after your goals. "Pleasure teaches your brain that a behavior is worth remembering and repeating"... So basically he's saying, if you want to keep a habit going, or create a healthy habit, you're going to have to find some satisfaction in doing that, or reward yourself in short spurts.
So he says, "If an experience is not satisfying, there's less reason to repeat it. What is rewarded is repeated, what is punished is avoided"... Punishment, or starvation, or if your mindset is terrible you're not going to keep going, therefore, you're going to quit. The first law we talked about, he says... You need to "Make it Obvious", like getting things off the counter or getting things out of your eyesight. "Make it Attractive", "Make it Easy"... So the simpler the habit and if you set yourself up for success, it's going to be easier and you're going to keep going.
So he said "You need to have it satisfying, but there's a trick. We're not looking for just a type of satisfaction, we're looking for an immediate satisfaction. In modern society, many of the choices we make today will not benefit us immediately"...
He talks about saving money losing weight. If you have a good job, and you're doing great at your job, you're not going to see it in your paycheck for a couple weeks. So if you exercise today, perhaps you won't see the weight loss right away. If you're saving money or saving for your retirement, you're going to see it after a decade. He's just giving you perspective. We live in a scientific world, we don't like this delayed return environment. So what can you do, as you're figuring out the habits and goals that you're trying to recreate. We're switching things up, we're creating new systems, I want to eat healthier, I want to feel better, I want to work out, I want to get up in the morning and do my "Miracle Morning" and read more. All of these things need to have a status to help you feel satisfied.
He says "The the consequences of a bad habit are delayed as well"... He explains how when you do a bad habit, a bad habit actually feels pretty good in the in the very instant.
Like I ate a doughnut, I felt satisfied. Smoke a cigarette, it helps you feel less stress. You hit your snooze button, you get to sleep in. All of these bad habits create a quick response or you feel satisfied, but long term, you're going to feel terrible. So he says usually it follows that pattern...If it's not good for you and you need to change it, you're going to feel great now long term but you're going to feel like garbage.
If it's something that requires work or if you're creating a good habit, it's not going to always feel great in the beginning. You might feel sore, you might feel deprived, but it's going to be work and long term, you're going to be thankful for it.
"Every habit produces multiple outcomes across time. Unfortunately, these outcomes are often misaligned"... So with your bad habits, it's immediate, good habits, it's gonna take time. "The cost of your good habits are in the present, while the cost of your bad habits are in the future".... You might say it doesn't matter, it's one day sleeping in. It doesn't matter, it's one donut every day. Because you don't see the bad habits until you get to a year down the road or two years down the road. You just have to tell yourself if I'm feeling satisfied right now, is it worth it? Or am I willing to do the work to get to where I want to go in one year?
I often ask people this "Are you willing to put in one year of hard work to get you to feel good, to lose the weight, to have the energy to play with your kids or grandkids or to be able to run the marathon?"... I'm talking physically right now, because that's why most of you are here. I get this every day, people say I've been doing this for two weeks, I'm frustrated it's been ten days, it's been a month, and I'm not seeing it. And I would say you did not get to where you are overnight.
You are not going to get to where you want to be overnight. So that doughnut, long term got you here today. Or the pizza, the overeating, the emotional eating, or the bad habit eating.
It wasn't yesterday that you started that, so that's why we read every day to get your mindset right. To own your morning, to own your day, to make the better decision so that you can over time, reap the harvest of your work every single day. You're planting seeds every day, little seed every day and making better choices every day. You might not see it, but all he's going to say is if you can give yourself a reward, for doing great all week.
Maybe I've realized I actually like having my nails done, I love the thought of having beautiful eyelashes and getting my eyebrows. I just don't keep up with those things, but I can read every day and I work out every day. I work on the things that I can control because it's in my home. But when I have to go get my nails done and you guys should see my gray hairs coming in. So I messaged my friend Caitlin, and I said I need my hair done, can you come to my house?
It's whatever you value, and I told myself I like getting my nails done so I should treat that as a reward.
I should up my weights and do a really good workout because I want to get stronger. I can work out every day, and I like to be sore but I hate sweating. I'm not a big sweater, but in order for me to reach the different goals that I want, I'm going to have to sweat. So I thought if I upped my weights and I do it all week, or every two weeks, I could get my nails redone, that would be my reward. So if you eat healthy for the next week or two, what is something you could give yourself, so you can feel that was satisfying. Buying new book, or get your hair done. He says, if you're working on your health, and then you go buy something, make sure it's not hindering your financial goals as well.
Also do not reward yourself with food, because that can be like a cheat day. Do not call that a reward, it's creating a bad habit. So if you're going have a cheat day, label the cheat day you'll feel like crap, and then keep moving and get back on track.
You have to have something that you love. Maybe it's allowing yourself to rest and watching a movie. I don't love to sit down and rest. But last night I sat down with my friend that's visiting and it was so relaxing. I don't sit down, if people are watching a movie, I'd be put zing around the kitchen, trying to clean something up. So I sat down last night and it was great, I could do this. So the basic chapter summary, "The fourth law of behavior change is making it satisfying. What can you reward yourself in short spurts so that you don't give up. We are more likely to repeat a behavior when the experience is satisfying. The human brain evolves to prioritize immediate rewards over delayed rewards". So be aware of that, if it's causing you an immediate reward right now, it's probably not a good habit. "To get a habit to stick, you need to feel successful. Increase in the odds that a behavior will be repeated the next time, if you have a satisfied response"...
The book is incredible, and I hope you continue to tune in. I saw a majority of people say mornings, so I don't normally come on here late. I like to come on here by 7:30 in the morning because I get all my morning stuff done and my kids are awake by then. I will work on being better at the morning time so you can hear this before you go to work. But otherwise, I just want to encourage you to read get your mindset right, because if you can do that, it's going to help you choose better throughout your entire day. All right, I should probably go clean something. Otherwise, I hope you guys have a great day, and continue to tune into the page. If you're brand new, we share lots of recipes all day long. Follow me on my stories. You can see our crazy life and all the fun that we do. I hope you guys have a great day and we'll talk to you soon.
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