"The problem with how we attack our problems is that we go after the problem. We focus solely on the behavior by making a commitment to stop doing something. Behavior modification doesn't work, because the focus is only on modifying the behavior. You don't get to the root of the problem, which is the thought that produces the behavior" ~ Craig Groeschel
Good morning everybody! Welcome to the Keto Mom page. My name is Stephanie and it has been quite a week! We're still going through a book called winning "Winning The War In Your Mind", by Craig Groeschel.
Where have I been? I'm going to tell you what we did this week. We just got back to Minnesota from Kentucky, and we were there for almost a week. My 4 girls were in Ohio with my sister, there was so much driving and we got home late last night. But we had an incredible week, we've learned so much, and I had an incredible breakthrough. There are so many things I want to share, but we have to take it one day at a time.
So real quick, tell me one thing you're thankful for. My heart is so full because I was able to meet so many of you in person.
If you're brand new, this is the Keto Mom page or you can also go to ketomomsecrets.com and click on the Book club. You can also check out how to get started, and there's a food list in there that you can grab. I'm here to help you, send me a message.
The event was about self-awareness, self-development, products, Science, and business. We learned about ourselves and our business. So many people had a great breakthrough, and we got to meet people in person.
The biggest things were self-awareness, the vision of where our company is going and giving yourself grace. There were a lot of words that were highlighted, like self-awareness, self-development, and giving yourself grace.
Grace is something that I feel a lot of people, especially here on the Keto Mom page, need to hear. You need to give yourself some grace because oftentimes you beat yourself up because you don't like where you're at today.
Or you've tried and you've tried and it's not working.
Do you give yourself enough grace? Not grace in the aspect of letting yourself off the hook, but grace in the understanding of not messing up good for perfect.
There are things that you need to learn from other people, and you might learn from a book, or you might need an accountability partner. If you slip up, you need to give yourself some grace. Knowing that you're learning, growing, and you're going to keep going.
You can also give grace to other people, like your family, business partners, or maybe even people on the road. "Grace", this word came up a lot. I don't know if somebody needed to hear it. But I would just say give yourself some grace.
Sometimes, we are our biggest critic. We know where we want to go, but if you don't know where you want to go then that's the first thing you need to check.
What do you want? Write it down.
Where do you want to go? If you don't know, ask for help.
Send me a message, and ask one of your closest friends for some help and clarity. You know you need to change. You know you need to do something different. Here are your goals, ask them to give you your strengths and what you're great at. Another question you could ask somebody would be some of your weaknesses, and the things you could be doing better.
"What is one thing that I can do better, for me to be in a better spot?"
We talked about ketones, our product, and all the fun things that are coming. We had Dr. Ryan and Dr. Jacob there, they both created our ketones, or my Mom fuel that I drink every day.
They talked about your biological age versus your actual age. It was so powerful, they laid out the simple steps for people to do to work on their health and fitness and to help create longevity in their lives.
They talked about drinking ketones, dropping the sugar, and working out. It was so mind-blowing, they said when people get older, you have your age and then you have your age that your body is actually at. I'm going to be turning 40 in February and it would be so interesting to know where my actual body age is at.
For example, people are at 40 but their body age is like 47 or 52 because of the food that we eat, the lack of movement, and even mindset plays a factor in that.
But you can actually reverse your biological age. You can have your body start aging better, and it has something to do with the fuel that you're putting in your body.
It truly was mind-blowing the simple action steps that we can do to reverse our biological age and help our body age better. Again, most people's bodies are way older than their actual age.
Don't give up on yourself. Give yourself some grace. Every single day you have choices to get up, be crabby, or be thankful for another day too. You can choose to yell or to be respectful to anybody in your path. You can choose to have a happy attitude and smile or to be crabby and frown. You can choose the food that you put in your mouth. You can also choose to go for a walk or not go for a walk.
There are little things that can help you immensely if you just have self-awareness and you make the best choices possible as you're going throughout your day.
If you're a rushed or a constant go-go-go person, which is fine. Maybe you need to slow down a little bit and think before you take any type of action.
"Oftentimes, people have a problem or something they want to stop doing".
I want to stop smoking.
I want to stop eating so much.
I want to stop making excuses.
I want to stop hitting the snooze.
I want to stop yelling.
I want stop spending so much money.
"The problem with how we attack our problems is that we go after the problem. We focus solely on the behavior by making a commitment to stop doing something".
I'm going to stop going through the drive-thru.
I'm going to stop eating the donuts. I'm going to stop doing something
I'm going to stop smoking
"Behavior modification doesn't work,
because the focus is only on modifying the behavior. You don't get to the root of the problem, which is the thought that produces the behavior".
I've been saying this quite a bit here. Let's talk about food or emotional eating. I'm just going to stop eating the cookies or eating at night. Why are you emotionally eating? Could it be a habit? Are there emotions that trigger it? Are there habits tied to that?
Those are the things that need to be broken. It's not just I need to get healthy, and strong, eat less and do better. But why do you find yourself eating those foods at that time?
I went to this event in Kentucky to support our team and everybody else. In fact, for the last seven years since we've been a part of this company, I've always gone to these events to support other people.
I actually had an incredible childhood, and I was raised by great parents. We've had hardships of course, but I've really been blessed. It was not perfect, and there were a lot of challenges that everybody went through. But there's nothing that I really could complain about, so I feel like I need to show up for everybody else. That was my mindset this weekend.
And at the same time the last year, I've been battling the word, "Trust".
Honestly, it's been a year or probably even longer of not trusting people. Whenever I'm listening to somebody, it's not everybody, it's usually people with authority. I immediately get a brick wall up. I've told my husband that, like I'll be sitting somewhere and I'll lean over to him and say I don't know why but my there's like a block and I don't trust this person.
And just so you know, there is discernment. There are reasons why you don't trust people, but when it's become constant then there has to be a problem.
This weekend, I was sitting at one of the events listening to a speaker. Our CEO got up on the stage, and he was talking about looking at somebody with judgment. If you're looking at other people with judgment, or if this person affects you, frustrates you, or irritates you about somebody else, then it's often about you.
I told my husband about it when we went back to the hotel. "I'm so frustrated. I don't know why I have this wall or feel like I've got this block. I'm not trying to judge them, but I just have this heavyweight".
I am the oldest of four, and my parents are in the medical field. We've got an incredible family, and yet I don't know why I grew up this way, or why I feel this way. I didn't know why, but I'll tell you in a second. My mom actually gave me a little hint last week.
Today, if you asked any of my friends or my family, they would say that I'm not a feeler. I don't cry, they've never seen me cry. I don't feel emotions, and for years I've actually said that about myself because I thought that was true. That's what people said about me.
What is wrong with me?
Why can I not trust people?
Why can I physically not cry?
It's not that I don't cry. But why do I feel like I have to be so strong? That was in my mind all weekend, but I didn't want to deal with it.
I wasn't there at that event for me, I was there for everybody else. But you need to realize that you cannot overflow into anybody else's life until your cup is filled.
How in the world are you going to take care of other people, if you can't even take care of yourself and acknowledge the things that need to be fixed, addressed, talked about, cut off, let loose, or changed? So I was expressing how I felt to my husband, and this flood of the Holy Spirit hit me. I started bawling my eyes out because I now know what the problem was...
A week ago, my husband made a comment in front of my family when we were in Florida.
He said, "Stephanie's not a feeler, she doesn't cry". And my mom said, "Oh, I did that to you. Your dad and I are in the medical field".
They have been in that field ever since I was a baby and they just learned to cut things off. She did not do it to me, but I watched my parents be so strong because they were in such a hard field.
And they saw so many terrible things that they didn't really express emotions.
It's not bad, and my parents are incredible. They've saved lives their whole life. I've always thought of them as my heroes because they legitimately save lives.
So if you have a problem or something you want to change. It's not just about directly cutting off the problem.
It's realizing the root of where it came from.
For me, it was the environment that I was in because I had very strong parents. I probably took that on as a young kid, and as the oldest of four kids, I felt like I needed to be strong. I felt like I couldn't cry or express emotions. I suppressed anger and my feelings.
Fast forward to this weekend, I allowed myself to feel because I couldn't hold it back anymore. I was sitting at that event and all of a sudden, I realized why I was not trusting people, and I lost it.
I realized that I usually don't show up for myself, but for everybody else. I didn't think that I needed anything. So I was sitting there, and this phrase popped into my mind.
It was me. It was me being frustrated with myself for not understanding why I wasn't able to cry, or why I wasn't allowing myself to be frustrated or sad.
And it's all because I always felt like I needed to be strong, and I needed to be the person who is there for everybody else.
I also felt like somewhere along the line, I lost trust in myself. I would beat myself up thinking I'm not a good leader. And then all of a sudden, I realized that I need to trust myself. And as soon as I said it, I raised my hand and I shared it with everybody there. It was like the biggest weight lifted off my shoulders and off my chest. I've never experienced that in my life.
I need to trust myself, and the things that I need to do. And it's not that you don't seek counsel, or ask good questions. It's not that you don't listen to podcasts or learn from other people. But for some time, some of you and myself included, care so much about what other people think or how other people are growing.
If you are here because you want to lose 50 pounds, that's great. But there's a bigger rut besides just your overeating or eating unhealthy foods. There might be something from your past that can help you understand why you're eating a certain way.
If I didn't hear my mom say, "Oh, that's because of me". I would not have dug deeper. Some of you might need to see a counselor but in general, you have to have an understanding. You have to acknowledge that. What are you going to do with that? Are you going to wallow in your sorrows? Or are you going to draw a line in the sand and go take ownership of it?
I'm going to allow myself to feel.
I'm going to allow myself to cry.
I'm going to give myself grace.
I actually have to take care of myself first, and I need to trust myself to do that. I need to trust myself that I'm making the right decisions.
Some of you take so much heart into what other people tell you to do, or not to do. But we all have stuff we need to work on. We all have grace we need to give ourselves. But if you do not take care of yourself, or honor the fact that you are an incredible human being. If you do not know that you were made for a purpose, that you were made for greatness by greatness, to help other people in your sphere of influence and environment. If you do not know that, then I want you to know that now.
Because in order for you to do great things, things that you are called to do, and things that only you can do, you need to take care of yourself.
I am somebody that believes in you.
Read a book, or plug into a community of people.
So the event ended and it was so incredible just to connect with people. It was hundreds of people sharing stories, understanding their WHYs, and realizing that our community and company are so powerful. There are so many breakthroughs, and usually, the reason you think you came to the event, isn't even the same reason anymore after you come out. You had no idea that you needed that.
Our CEO says you don't always get what you thought you came for, but you get what you need.
And so the Keto Mom community is here, and I am here. My husband and our kids are here. We have a team of people who even help me with posts, and we are all here to support and help you in any way that we can.
But I want you to understand that you also have to help yourself. You've got to make the decisions, and take care of your body because your health is important. You've got to take care of your mind, your mindset is important. Self-awareness is also important so that you can overflow into anybody else that's there for you.
It was such an incredible weekend. There are so many things I want to share with you, like helping you reverse your biological age, and also understanding ketones.
For now, I just want you to know that you're amazing.