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Emotional Quotient and Adaptability Quotient

    I often tell people to stay in their lanes. Don't compare yourself to other people when you are focusing on being better. Some people might try to pull you down and be negative about it. Some will try to make you stop because inside it makes them feel like they're not doing enough.

Hey, everybody! Welcome to the Keto Mom page. My name is Stephanie and I have not been here for over a week but it wasn't by choice.

I had to be adaptable. I don't need to go into a long story about why I wasn't able to do the live videos. But I will tell you, it wasn't my choice to be off the videos, it was a circumstance of somebody.

The goal of the Keto Mom page is to help you in lots of areas of your life. To help support you, to guide you, to help teach you, to help share with you what has happened in our lives over the last seven years. Also, you can always go to our blog, for different keto or low-carb recipes, and to help you with your mindset.

For this month, we were supposed to start this book called, "The Noticer" by Andy Andrews.

I don't know how this works in social media, but isn't it interesting when you have an awareness of life, and you're going after better, not everybody will agree.

What is one goal you're striving for?

One of our family's vision and mission statements is to help people live healthy, faith-filled lives.

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘂𝗺𝗽𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀.

And when you're on a journey and you're focused on going after what you want. You have to remember that not everybody will love to watch your journey. I often tell people to stay in their lane, and don't compare themselves to other people.

When you are focusing on better, you might have people who will try to pull you down, become negative about what you're doing, and will try to make you stop, because inside it makes them feel like they're not doing enough.

I say all that because somebody or some people chose to mark some of my videos or a recent video that I did a week ago. And then I was kicked off social media. I couldn't do live videos for a few days, I couldn't even message people at a certain point.

So when life throws you curveballs, when people do something to hurt you. When people try to question you for going after something better for your life or your family's life. You have to ask yourself, "Is what I'm doing hurting anybody?"...

I had to back up because I was so mad. I was like, "How dare somebody marked my video?". So when you're pursuing better, not everybody's going to like you.

At the very beginning of the Keto Mom page, I actually got a lot of hurtful messages about silly things. So you have to understand, that when you have awareness of going after better, helping yourself, and taking care of your body. You can overflow and take care of other people and your family.

but when people start to attack you, there's an aspect of learning how to control your emotions. I have learned the most valuable lesson seven years ago, and it's called EQ (Emotional Quotient) and AQ (Adaptability quotient). And so I had to back up and remind myself that what I'm doing is not hurting anybody.

"𝗛𝘂𝗿𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲, 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲".
So when somebody comes at you, tries to mess up what you're doing, or they try to sabotage you. Just be aware that hurt people, hurt people.

They might think it's about me, but it's actually pointing back at them. It's probably something that's affecting them.

It could be in your life too when you have somebody that's hurtful with their words or actions. Hurt people, hurt people. So are you going to be frustrated and angry, or get resourceful? I chose to get resourceful because there are a lot of things that I can do.

So EQ measures your emotional quotient and your AQ measures your adaptability quotient. IQ measures how smart you are.
But going back to your EQ, it means how well you handle your emotions. If you can have an awareness of your EQ and AQ, these 2 things have completely shifted the way I stop and think about a situation and how I don't react so quickly.

I once did not collect the facts, got angry, spew my mouth, and said hurtful words to my CEO years ago, about a situation. He called me and finally said, "I want to teach you something. Are you open to a suggestion? Have you ever heard of EQ?"... I was angry! I was so angry about the situation. And he said, "You have to understand that a lot of things that you see, you don't actually have all the facts collected yet"...

So with that, thinking about the situation in that somebody decided to flag my video, I could have actually thrown a fit, got super frustrated, and said some things that may have caused more damage on social media. But if you have an understanding of EQ, then you can understand the power of your emotions.

And so I'm going to have a better perspective...

  • You don't need to say something.

  • You don't need to overreact.

  • You need to collect the facts.

In situations where your kids are fighting, if you're fighting with your spouse, or if something happens at work and somebody said something bad. Before you start gossiping, get frustrated, or say something that's going to hurt somebody else. You need to tell yourself, "I need to handle my EQ".

Collect The Facts.

𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱

Figure out what's going on. I actually did that. I tried to figure it out. I tried to work with somebody on social media. I tried to have them help me, but it is what it is.

Choose How To Handle The Situation.

Are you going to react out of anger and frustration? Will it only get worse?

Or are you going to respond in an appropriate manner and get resourceful?

We've taught our kids this. There will be times when they would almost lose their EQ. I'd tell them to check their EQ, and that I need them to respond. Take some time, sit down, and collect the facts.

I might have to call an extra kid in to ask what happened. Because if they respond in the manner that I see they're about to respond, it might get worse.

So understanding and having the awareness of EQ is so powerful. It will help you in your everyday life, all day long. And now that you know, you can't say that you don't know. So if something happens you can quickly check your EQ, and have awareness.

React or Respond.

I'm going to respond. I don't have to respond right now, but only when I have the facts collected and when I can handle my emotions.

That's where AQ comes in, which means adaptability. How well can you adapt to situations? Some of you love a routine, so make sure you stick to everything that's on the calendar.

Just like me, I love to do live videos, to make sure that I can add value. I already announced that we were starting a new book, but because of what happened, I couldn't start it. Frustrating! And yet, I had to be adaptable.

So I tried to share my stories as much as I could. I tried to get on my husband's or daughter's accounts to try to message people. There were things that I had to do so I wasn't gone for a week. I had to be adaptable without losing my EQ and trying to figure out how can I get resourceful at this moment and not lose it.

𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗸, 𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗯, 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿.
That's life! We're not going to have easy days every single day.

I like to work on mindset to help you understand the power of the things that you say. And all of that has an effect on your fat loss, believe it or not. I've gone through a lot of books that usually tell you to talk about goals, about writing them down, cast a vision, and also take action.

I think books like that are incredible. It gives you a step-by-step process on how to hit your goals. But this book "The Noticer" is more of a fictional book that we did years ago.

In this book, The main character is called Jones. This man is well known in his area because he notices people, and he takes people on a journey to give them awareness. Usually, they're at the lowest point in their lives.

So at the very beginning of the book, he's talking to a man who was sitting under a bridge. The man was homeless and had nothing. This man named Jones sees people, he notices people and he adds value to their lives wherever he can.

The biggest thing he wants to teach them is perspective, and he does that in lots of different stories. I'm not going to read the full story to you, but only the little pieces throughout the book.

"Everybody wants to be at the mountain tops, but if you'll remember, mountain tops are rocky and cold. There is no growth on a mountaintop. Sure, the view is great, but what's the view for? The view is just given to us for a glimpse of a new destination, a new target. But to hit the target, we must come off the mountain, go through the valley and begin to climb the next slope. It is the valley that we sludged through, the lush grass, the rich soil, learning, and becoming what enables us to summit life's next peak".

"So my contention is that you are right where you are supposed to be"...

There are lessons to be learned and things to overcome. There's a big destination you want to hit on the other side. But there are things you have to go through and you've got to work through conversations that have to be had.

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁.

"The old man scooped up a handful of sand, the man was under a bridge on a beach. And he said, 'This may look like barren sand to you, but nothing can be further from the truth. As you lay your head down tonight. You're sleeping on fertile ground, I want you to think, I want you to learn, I want you to pray, I want you to plan, and I want you to dream. For soon you will become".

You might be looking at a circumstance that you're in today and you don't even know how you got there. But Jones would say to you, "You are where you are supposed to be today".

Until you have an awareness, some understanding, and some perspective. We'll get you to where you want to go by thinking, learning, praying, planning, and dreaming. Soon you will become.

The last little bit is Jones, handing this man a whole bunch of history books. And the man underneath the bridge asked why he was handing him these books. They were named "Winston Churchill", and "George Washington Carver".

And he responded, "Remember young man, experience is not the best teacher.
Other people's experience is the best teacher. By reading about the lives of great people, you can unlock the secret to what made them great".

It's the power of learning, reading, understanding, and not having to walk through that path yourself. You don't have to do that to learn the lesson, you can go the other way instead.

If your goal is fat loss, instead of trying to figure it all out by yourself, there are things you can do. You can message me your goals. You can ask me how much water you should be drinking. You can tell me what you've been doing. I can give you some insight, instead of trying to figure it out by yourself.

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗴𝗼 𝗳𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿.
  • You will have learned from their experience.

  • You will have a new awareness.

  • You will have the perspective.

  • You will have the understanding that you don't have to go through what they went through, you can just go the other way.

You've already learned what they told you. If you took it, learned from it, and put the actions they did into place. You will achieve the goals that you're wanting.

"Your vision my boy is incredibly cloudy at the moment. But I'm certain that we can clear a path from your head to your heart because you lack perspective. Young man, you see only the sand at your feet and what you're eating, that you wish, was something else".

"I don't tell you this to rebuke you. You are a very ordinary person with very ordinary views. Most people are just like you. They're disgusted with themselves for what they are, what they eat, what they drive, and what they do because that's ordinary".

"But most of us never stopped to think about, literally millions of people in the world who lack our blessings and opportunities. They have no food to eat, they have no hope, and they have no car".

He was basically saying that there are people worse than this man, even if he was living under a bridge. There are people that have less than him. The young man lacked perspective, so Jones was going to give him perspective and help him out.

He'sgoing to teach you some lessons and then it's up to you to take action. You can either wallow in your sorrows, think negative thoughts, or speak negative words. Focus on the negative and that's what you're going to get in return.

"Whatever you focus on increases"

Whatever you focus on increases, so what are you focused on?

  • Are you focused on moving forward?

  • Are you focused on the past?

  • Are you focused on being better?

  • Are you listening to the words other people spoke to you saying you could never and will never be?

That's not true at all! And until you let that go, realize that you are in charge of your choices every day, and move forward, you will stay in the past and you will be stuck.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱, 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴.

"If you concentrate your thoughts on what you don't have, you will soon concentrate on more things that you don't have. If you set your mind on loss, you are more likely to lose. But a grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person's life".

That's where we're going to stop. All of this is true, and it's in all the books that we've read. Your mind is powerful! One of my favorite phrases by Joseph McClendon III is, "As I think so I

feel, As I feel so I do, As I do so I have".

Everybody has a goal in front of them that they want to go after. And so it's important to understand the power of learning from other people. Write things down, and look at them often so you don't forget. Look at it more, learn from it, take action, and then it becomes yours inside of you.

I hope you don't just hear something today and then forget about it. I hope you wrote things down like EQ, collecting the facts, responding or reacting, having awareness, and AQ or your adaptability.

Work on your EQ and then understand the power of perspective. A grateful heart is going to get you way further in life than waking up and be crabby.

"As I think so I feel"... Thinking creates a feeling.

"As I feel so I do"... If you feel sad, you might eat the doughnut because, or you might eat out of your emotions. But if you feel happy and grateful, and you're striving after better. You're going to feel so good, so you end up choosing better.

"As I do so I have"... If you were to simply look at what you have in life, you will come to realize that you're doing great.

Continue to tune in and reach out. I want to help you and I love to hear your stories. You have to let go of those negative things. It might be your own mind, battling yourself, and telling yourself you are not worthy every day.

Draw a line in the sand and accept that it is what it is. Here's who you are today...

  • Are you going to move forward or stay stuck?

  • Are you going to be like the ordinary people that don't like who they are, what they eat, the vehicles they drove, and the places they live?

  • Are you going to be extraordinary and move forward with the understanding that your brain is powerful?

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲.

Things that you're watching that are not serving you. You might spend too much time on that television because it's telling you a vision. But it's probably not the vision of life that you want. You might need to unfollow some people on social media because you're in comparison mode. There might be places you have to stop going to because it causes you to choose something that is not in your goals right now.

  • If you can't go into that coffee shop without grabbing the donut, then don't go in the coffee shop.

  • If you can't keep certain foods in your home because it causes you to stumble, then get it out of your home.

  • If you worked out at home today, but you know you need an instructor and a coach, then get your booty to the gym.

That's actually me, I work out harder at the gym when somebody's telling me what to do, rather than me doing it alone.

You need to draw a line in the sand and you need to have an awareness of where you're at today and what you need to work on.

If you think negatively, then you need to be more grateful. Look at the things you currently have and be thankful. Have some perspective. There are a lot of people in this world that don't have food in their cupboards, but you have the ability to eat and drink things that 90% of the world doesn't. You have a job that provides and helps provide for your family.

Perspective and attitude can change an environment.
  1. I have children, there are people that want children so badly that aren't physically able to have children.

  2. I have a spouse, there are people that want to get married and have not found that person.

  3. I have looked at the things you have from the perspective of gratitude and realized that there are people out there that want what you have.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱?
  • It's going to start by thinking positively.

  • I'm not going to say that I'm fat.

  • I'm not going to say that I'm ugly.

  • I'm going to say I love you.

And so you're going to make better choices because you decided that you're going to move forward. We overcomplicate most things in our life when really things could be fixed by slowing down, saying no, and "cutting some things out of our life".

Ask questions, find a mentor, and keep it simple. Alright! It just feels good to be back, and I'm praying over this page that the haters stay away. Remembering that hurt people hurt people. Praying for protection over this page. I appreciate you all, thank you for saying. I'm happy to be back and we'll talk to everybody soon. Bye, everybody!

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