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"Human beings are created with the capacity to influence and be influenced. This is inherent in that we are created to be relational beings. It is heightened by the reality that we are not simply intellectual, but emotional creatures. Influence can be a great thing, especially when we distinguish it from manipulation"... ~Erwin McManusPoints to Ponder:
01:27 Different Spokes of Life
02:11 Awareness of Life
02:29 React versus Respond
03:47 How Do You See Food?
04:16 What Triggers You?
04:49 Influence
05:50 The Power of Influence
07:08 Influence Yourself
07:57 Want This Enough To Make A Change
09:06 Have A Big Enough "Why"
09:17 Be The Influencer of Good
10:08 Be The Leader In A Positive Manner
Full Episode Transcript:
Good morning! Welcome to the Keto Mom page. My name is Stephanie, and we are diving into "Chasing Daylight" by Erwin McManus. I really want to talk to you about the power of influence, and "What", or "Who" is that. All right! Influence! What does that mean, and what plays a part in the decisions that you make?... I truly believe that a majority of the decisions that we make, and the things that we do, has something to do with awareness. Allowing yourself to take a step back from anything that you're doing. So remember, this book isn't about fat loss, but it's about being mindful. It's about understanding that your life, your fat loss, and your weight loss journey are not just the one thing in your life that you should be focused on.
You've got some people, and there are lots of books out there. There are lots of books that describe your life, or they would say, "You've got a whole bunch of different areas in your life. Think of your life as a wheel. You've got different spokes, Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Financial, and Relationships"...
I think I've covered a majority of them. So if one of the spokes is broken or not running well, it is going to affect all the other spokes. If your relationships aren't going well, do you think your health is going to go well? Do you think you're going to make good decisions if you're struggling in your marriage, or your children, finances, and all of those things?
The point of this book is just to help you have an awareness, generally in life. If you can say, "Alright, how am I going to handle the situation?", "I don't have to be so reactive".
Most of the time, people don't have an understanding of E.Q. or their emotions, and out of most situations, they react versus respond. They don't take the time to research and collect the facts. They just react, and out of reacting, can cause weight gain. Because how often do we turn to food as a reward, or as emotional support?. "It emotionally supports me because my marriage is bad", "My kids don't listen", or "I had a bad day at work so I deserve this"... In all things, if you can just tell yourself, "I need to control my emotions", "I need to have an awareness of what's going on in a situation", "Here are my spokes, physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, and relationships. I'm really struggling in one of these areas"... Let's just be real if you look at where you are today, what caused you to get here? Most of you want some fat loss, and you say "I want to feel better", or "I want to look a certain way".
But if you can't figure out what got you here today, how in the world are you going to switch that habit? Why are you, where you are at today? Is it because food is a crutch, or food is a reward? Is it because it helps with your emotions? Because home life or work life isn't going the way that you want it to go? You've got to figure out what caused you to get to where you are at today.
Whatever it is, let's figure that out. And you also have to have the awareness of when that trigger comes up, or that thing happens. You can go, "Oh, I'm here", "Every other day I would have eaten the chocolate or gone through the drive-thru", "I would have made the excuse to start tomorrow, but now that I have an awareness, I've realized this thing happened. It triggered me and now I'm not going to do it, instead, I'm going to find something else to replace that"...
So I say all of this because we're starting chapter four of this book. If you're following along, or if you're reading the book, it talked about "Influence". Again, he's story-based. He tells a ton of different stories, but I just want to read one section to you.
He said this, "Human beings are created with the capacity to influence and be influenced. This is inherent in that we are created to be relational beings. It is heightened by the reality that we are not simply intellectual, but emotional creatures. Influence can be a great thing, especially when we distinguish it from manipulation"...
Alright! So I just want to talk about, "The Power of Influence"... Do you need my help? My husband is digging a hole today in our really hard ground. We've got a few hours before it rains and snows, and he's got one more project, so that's what he's doing. Okay! Going back...
Influence is the best way to lead and move others towards what is good, or what their goals are. I would really challenge you to look at your life, and look at the influences that you have in your life. Let's give an example, like your work environment... If you were the only one that is focused on being healthy, what influences your life at your workspace? Are they helping or hurting? Are they encouraging, or degrading? Are they causing you to want to be better or not?
And you might not be able to change that, but I was listening to Joseph McClendon III last weekend, by the way, we did an event and he talked about lots of different things. One of them was, "Are you constantly looking for other people to motivate you? Or can you say 'I've got to find it within'"...
If you go to your workspace and you're constantly being told, "Oh, it's not a big deal, we do potlucks all the time", "Stop it, you don't have to be on a diet", "Stop it, you're at work, start tomorrow"... You are constantly being pulled down, like at your home where you don't have anybody that's doing it with you. You've got to figure out how you can influence yourself and support yourself. Part of this is, I know a lot of us want accountability and support from other people like we want that best friend, that perfect message, somebody to slap us on the hand every time we're going to grab that thing that we probably shouldn't eat. It would be so great to have that person right next to you at all times, I get it.
But part of your journey is learning to love yourself, and learning to trust yourself. Learning to say "Nobody else at this moment is doing this with me, so I've got to have an understanding of why I'm doing this"...
The influence around you might not be great, so you've got to want this enough to make a change. You can have some great influences around you, or you can have some not-so-great influences around you. If you can't find the grit, the heart, and the "Why" inside of you, then you cannot depend on other people all around you at all times.
You're going to have to say, "I can do this"... If you're working on believing that you can, you're going to have to find that inward voice and tell it to stop the negative talk. You're going to have to say, "I can do this", "I want this", "Right now, in the other environments that I have, maybe I don't have the support, the encouragement, or the accountability, but I can do it. I know I can do it"... And that's why you can come on pages like this one, "Keto Mom". Clearly, people that are here want to be better, or maybe there are other groups or pages that you also listen to...
We also talked about this last weekend, you've got to be able to influence yourself, and know that you can do this. You've got a big enough "Why" you tuned into a book or a podcast. You can work on your mindset, and that's why you're here. You're working on your mindset so that you're not going to be influenced.
And you can say, "I'm going to be the one that influences others", "I'm the influencer, and I'm the one that walks into my workspace with a definite of purpose, a clear vision, and a goal", "I'm not easily persuaded by other people", "I'm going to do this", "I'm not barking at my kids, my husband, or my spouse forcing them to do this with me, but I'm leading to inspire", "I'm going to be the leader"... Some of you might say, "But I'm not a leader". Yes, you are, it just depends on what you're leading.
Some of you need to understand that you've been waiting way too long for somebody else to do it with you, for somebody else to come alongside you for support, to hopefully do it with you. Like your boss, your employees, or perhaps your best friend... If you want it, then you're going to have to be the leader in a positive manner.
He talked about not manipulating people, don't manipulate your spouse, your kids, or making anybody feel bad because they're not doing it with you. You lead by example, encourage them, and smile.
Don't gripe about not eating a certain food if somebody else is in front of you. Enjoy the food that you have, because you have goals. Watch the words that come out of your mouth, and the thoughts that you tell yourself. "Are you being influenced, or are you going to be the influencer?" Yes. So that's what he talked about. He talked about influencing people, and about how easy it is to be manipulated... I'm probably going to end on page one hundred ten (p.110) if you're following along. Basically, it was a lot of storytelling, but that was the basic idea of it. Alright! As always, you can message me with your questions, I'm here to help.
Continue to tune into the page because there are different live videos, recipes, tips, and tricks to help you on your journey. I hope you have an incredible day and reach out with your questions. And know this, you don't have to have somebody else alongside you to do this. If you really want it, tell yourself "I'm going to get it", "I'm going to be the positive influence", "I'm going to encourage others", "I'm going to go after my goals", and "I have a definite purpose. I'm going to go get it with the realization that it could take some time, so I'm going to have to be strong"... You can do this! Have a great morning, and we'll talk to you soon.
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