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THE 5-SECOND RULE (Chapter 15): Building Real Confidence | Keto Mom Book Club

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	"A big mistake people make is thinking that confidence is a matter of personality. Confidence must mean that you believe in yourself, your ideas, and your capabilities. Anyone can learn how to become more confident. It's not a personality, it's a skill" ~Mel Robbins

Points To Ponder:

00:10 "The 5 Second Rule" by Mel Robbins

01:36 The Gift Of Books

01:55 "Goals" by Zig Ziglar

02:33 Build Real Confidence

03:33 Built Through Acts Of Courage

04:37 What Makes A Good Life?

05:27 Small Things Are Not Small

06:17 It's The Little Things Everyday

07:17 Acts Of Everyday Courage

07:58 Moments of Self Doubt

09:41 Speak From Your Heart

09:27 Each Of Us Has Greatness

10:08 You Need Tools

10:26 Teach Your Family Members

11:31 Go Further Faster

Full Episode Transcript:

Good morning! Welcome to the Keto Mom page. My name is Stephanie. Today, we're going to talk about building real confidence. We're diving into the book, "The 5-Second Rule" by Mel Robbins. My goal is to finish it tomorrow or maybe the next couple of days. The concept behind the book, and my hope is that you're using the 5-second rule to help you in your everyday life...

The author, Mel Robbins, she's going to talk about what it looks like to use it in baby steps throughout your entire day and morning. To help you build confidence in who you are, and to take the next step in what you're wanting to go after.
Welcome to Day 15 of our Book 9 session

If you don't have the book and you've not been following along, we've been doing live videos all month. Just go back to December 1, where we talked about the beginning of the book. We talked every single morning about how you can use this book as a tool to help you on your journey. It's a pretty incredible book... If you're looking for gifts and you're still shopping, which by the way, I'm completely done and everything's been wrapped. Our kids have already been opening things up because we're leaving on Christmas day to go to my sister's house in Ohio. And so we're just doing some fun things before we leave...

Who's still shopping out there? My suggestion is, to give the gift of books. I know, not everybody thinks it would be fun. But they will love you for it once they actually read it, and they follow what it says to do... Okay! The goal is to finish "The 5-Second Rule" in the next day or a couple of days. Then we're going to go through this book called, "Goals" by Zig Ziglar. I read the book last night, and it talked about the "Nine Steps to setting goals".

We're going to go through these steps before January so that you can have an understanding of how to really set smart goals, be intentional, and actually have an incredible new year. To not be the ninety-nine percent (99%) of people that start something in January, done by mid-February, and then come back by the end of the year wishing they would have done something. That is not going to be you!...
How to build real confidence?

Alright, we're on chapter fifteen and it says, "Build real confidence". These are the highlights of the chapter, he said "A big mistake people make is thinking that confidence is a matter of personality. Confidence must mean that you believe in yourself, your ideas, and your capabilities. Anyone can learn how to become more confident. It's not a personality, it's a skill"...

Have you ever looked at somebody and thought, "I wish I was extroverted, like them", "I wish I had the confidence like them", "I wish I could, but I'm not confident", "I'm an introvert", or all of those excuses. I loved how she said that "Confidence" is not a characteristic or a personality, it's a trait. If you see something that you want to be better at, it will take time, effort, and energy, which is the same with confidence. This book walks you through how the 5-second rule will help you in that area of your life...

She said, "You may have an extroverted personality and talk a lot but that doesn't mean that you're confident. Confidence in yourself is built through an act of everyday courage"...

(5-4-3-2-1) It's doing little things every single day that you would like to do for yourself, for others, and just in general throughout your day. Little things that will build confidence in you, the accomplishments that you want to go after, and the things that you want to see in your goals and your life in general... So she said, "Just as confidence is created by the small things that you do every single day that build your trust in yourself"... She tells a whole bunch of stories of people that look successful on the outside. People that you might watch and say, "I wish I had that person's confidence or thrill for life". Some were just an act. They had great success in this area, but they truly did not have self-confidence. How do you get that?

The small things you do everyday, matter

She said, "A good life is made up of small steps, making tough decisions, being able to say no. Even getting out of bed and taking the dogs out for a walk, just because you said that you would. They may be little steps and learning to trust yourself, but they are the most exhilarating moves that you can make for your confidence"...

So I'm going to guess that a majority of you, probably ninety-five percent (95%) are on the Keto Mom page because you want to look and feel a certain way. It's about health and diet.
I'm going to guess that a lot of you don't believe in yourselves. Maybe you don't have a good self-image of yourself, and you need to work on that in order to accomplish your goals...

She said, "Small things are not small at all. They are the most important things, and they add up. Pushing yourself to 5-4-3-2-1 on the very small things every single day, gives you the confidence to do the bigger things later. Here's what I mean by small things. I stood up on the dance floor by myself at the music concert, and I danced. I took and posted a picture of myself with an author I admired. I spoke in front of a congregation in my church. I spoke to my husband about something that was truly bothering me. I introduced myself to a person I wanted to meet. And I have accomplished more around the house today than ever before"...

Affirming yourself builds confidence

What she's saying are the little things that you want to do in life. It doesn't have to do with your health, because we're on a Keto Mom page. But it's the little things you do throughout the day that brings you confidence in who you are. Going after your goals, feeling accomplished or magnificent, and being proud of yourself. It's the little things every single day...

She said, "Confidence builds when you do things that affirm your sense of self, particularly when there are things that you might not normally do. It's like getting up and speaking in front of your church. Chasing down somebody that you want to meet. There are acts of everyday courage that will build who you are. What if I told you that nothing about your life or personality is fixed, or comes naturally? Nothing comes naturally until you practice it. That's why I keep saying, you must practice acts of everyday courage"...

I often get people who say, "Stephanie, I could never do what you do. I can't talk to people online and make videos". Do you want to know something? Even today, I'll look at myself and think, "I should probably go fix my face". or "Does anybody actually want to hear from me?". Even this morning, I told myself, "Don't mess up good for perfect! (5-4-3-2-1) Start!"... I've been doing videos for six and a half years, or coming on FB live and talking to people. There are moments when you're going to have self-doubt in any area of your life. Then you just have to remember, "No, I've already done this. I enjoy doing this, even if it's just for one person"... I count backward (5-4-3-2-1) before my head talks me out of doing it. There are days where I make excuses like, "It's too late", "I'm super busy", "I'm not going to do a live video" and on those days people would say, "Where's the book?", "I miss the book FB live", "Where are you at?". And I would think, "Nobody will notice, it's not a big deal"...

Just because somebody is on social media doesn't mean they have more confidence than you. Everybody's got to work on different things...
Speak from your Heart, believe in yourself

She then wraps it up, let's just go through the parts that I love. She said, "You were like some other people and like no other people. What I do know is the first time you do anything, it's going to feel difficult and maybe a little scary. You're going to need a little courage, we all are capable of acting out of character. When it serves an important purpose, then the most important purpose I can think of is improving yourself in a way that makes you more alive and feel happy and fulfilled. We all have to work on ourselves. There's so much greatness inside of every single one of us. The rule helps us in different circumstances and in all areas. 5-4-3-2-1"...

And then she tells more stories of people discovering who they were and acting out of confidence. She said, "Speak from your heart, even if your voice shakes". I sometimes have to do that on here...

Alright! This book is incredible. It's always given me a great reminder, although I've read the book a couple of times. I would highly recommend getting it. But if you're just watching the live videos, that is still awesome! This book is a tool, and I talked about going throughout our day, diving into new goals, and new exciting adventures in the new year. You're going to need tools. Think of having a tool belt of different tools that you need, to help you in any area of your life.

Books are just one of the tools that you need

Examples of these tools would be books, podcasts, people that you're following, and learning from. You're going to learn it, do it, and put it into action. My encouragement to you would be to teach it to others, your family members, or even a best friend. Because when you teach something that you've learned, you get it inside of you.

So a book is a tool, water bottles with a straw because I like to drink water with a straw, and Ketones are also a tool... What do you need to set yourself up for success, as you're going into the new year? How can you have all of these tools in your tool belt, so that you can accomplish the goals that you want? I think most people would say, "I can do it on my own", "Not a big deal, I just need self-discipline", "I can do it"...

Yes, you probably can, but if you just put a couple of things into play, like working on your mindset or setting alarm clocks. It's okay to ask for help, to watch and learn from other people, and to read books. It's okay to do these things and then put them into action. It's better to learn from somebody else who's already done it because you can go further faster.

Think about that... Otherwise, I hope you have an incredible day. Continue to tune into the page, there are a lot of recipes, tips, and tricks shared throughout the day on the page for you. Or you can go check and follow us on Instagram @ketomomsecrets... We're going through "The nine steps of setting goals", in a couple of days. I'm going to finish "The 5-Second Rule" probably in two days, and then we'll dive into this new book "Goals", for the rest of the month. This book "Goals" will give you a headstart into 2022. I hope you have an incredible morning. Reach out with questions that you have and we'll talk to you later. Bye!

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