Mastering the Habits That Matter Most (The Power To Change by Craig Groeschel)
"What if you're in the same place that you are years from now, wanting to change but still doing the same thing over and over again. Is that the life you want to live?" ~ Craig Groeschel
STEPHANIE: Welcome to the Keto Mom page, my name is Stephanie and I have my husband Steve with me today. He's already been going through the book. He's further than I am.
Two years ago, we were talking about how many people just don't read, or don't have an awareness of their identity. Most people don't understand that the power of your thinking plays a huge part in your fat loss.
So we're going through this book today, it's called "The Power To Change" by Craig Groeschel. We're going to go through it step by step, and action by action. Do you want to know why? Because if you don't get your thinking right, then the likelihood of you going over and over the same mountain is most likely.
My husband and I grew up across the street from each other, so we've known each other since we were probably eight years old. We didn't start dating until right after high school, got married and we are blessed with four girls. We are a homeschooled family and we love to travel.
My husband's really great at telling stories while I'm very direct. He's an incredible feeler, he will sit and ask you so many questions. But there's more than just women that need to hear this, there are also some men that I'm blessed to help. There are a lot of spouses or other people in your life that need this. We want to help you in lots of different ways, and one of them is with your mindset.
If you need recipes, you can always go to ketomomsecrets.com, you can send me a message, or can tune into the rest of the page.
And so Steve, I want you to share what you're most excited about with this book. You can share whatever you want to share about our family. And then we're going to dive into chapter one...
STEVE: When we were young, we went on a date and it didn't quite work out. It was probably because I didn't kiss you behind the tree, but ever since that moment, that's when this book started for me. I realized back then that I needed the power to change. And who would have thought that some of these seeds, thoughts, habits, or the perpetual lies that you may be telling yourself from childhood could actually play into the reason why you're where you're at today?
PASTOR CRAIG GROESCHEL
So there are 2 books, one is the workbook and one is the actual book. Craig Groeschel means a lot to me in my life because he's truly a mentor to me. He has raised six children, is married and devoted to his wife, is very devoted to his calling, someone who not just sees opportunity, but takes action on it, and someone who's physically and financially fit.
I got the chance to work side by side with the man for five years, and he planted a lot of seeds of development and leadership in my life at an age where I really needed it. And so to say I'm forever grateful for Craig would be a complete understatement. He's truly someone that I'm just so so thankful for.
So when he came out with this new book, I knew that this wasn't just going to change my life but this is truly going to change so many people's lives.
We were given an advance copy of Craig's book, I started reading it, I made it a couple of pages and it hit me so hard. That feeling that if I go through this, my life will never be the same. I was rattled to the core. It's interesting how sometimes busyness or other things can just get in the way, and it delays or holds you back from what you are truly created to be and where you are truly created to grow and go through.
So a few days ago, I felt that kind of resistance, and so I said, "No matter what, I'm putting this first and I'm going to wake up with reckless abandon"... And so I woke up with tenacity to want to dive into this book, and take it seriously. I ordered the workbook, I took out my notebook and pen because if we want our dreams and our visions to come true, we have to write them down.
I'm listening to the audiobook and worked myself to chapter two. But through the workbook, I've put in some serious time and some serious tears, and I've had some major breakthroughs of things that I'm believing for. So if you stick with us on this journey, your life will never be the same.
STEPHANIE: I love that! We've actually done a lot of books on this page, like "Atomic Habits, or "The Morning Miracle"... So this book will not only help you with your habits and systems, it's also going to the core root of why you do things and your identity.
This morning, Steve was telling me some things about why he believes certain things about himself stemming back to when he was younger, and I knew that we had to share this. So Steve and I have completely different backgrounds or upbringings, and when I read the book I totally understand it but it hasn't hit the way it hit Steve.
And so I would encourage you to go through the book and take the action like Steve is doing.
STEVE: If you have the book, all of the questions are in there but the workbook will take you one level deeper. You can also listen to the audio, there are questions there if you just pause and put some thought into it. It's going to unveil or reveal some stuff about what's going on in your life.
STEPHANIE: So if you take the time to do it, it will Change the rest of your year and life.
"There are a few things in life more frustrating than knowing you need to change, wanting to change, and trying to change, but not actually changing".
STEVE: How many of you have been there?
STEPHANIE: I hear this all the time...
"I've done keto years ago"
"I've lost the weight"
"I've gotten healthy"
"I've gained it back".
Even if we're just talking about that, which I don't want it to be because a lot of you need to work on your relationships or marriages, your relationships with your kids, your finances, or whatever the case may be...
But I do hear the stories of the same circle every single year, over and over again.
"Here's a question that's hard to hear. What if you're in this same place years from now? Wanting to change, but still doing the same thing living the same life?"
STEVE: The reason why I brought that up is that this is our LDP from 2004, and that's almost 20 years ago.
STEPHANIE: So Steve used to work for Life Church, and it was one of the most powerful things that ever happened to our life. We moved our girls and everything that we had, to a place we didn't know anybody, just to be a part of this church where Steve worked in ministry.
STEVE: So try to identify those areas in your life...
What are the things that you're wanting to improve?
What are those things that you're wanting to change?
What are the things that you see as a better version of yourself?
It can be your habits, your job, or creating a better environment for your family for your kids. Those are the things that we talked about in the Chazown book...
"Everyone ends up somewhere, but very few end up somewhere on purpose". ~Craig Groeschel
What are the habits you're putting into your day? It's just like when you come to our company events, your life will never be the same. You're going to have some breakthrough moments and you're going to discover some things about yourself.
"As I think so I feel. As I feel so I do. As I do so I have" ~ Joseph McClendon III.
And it's interesting, because all of this stuff that I've been hearing, watching, and participating in, for the first time in my life, is actually starting to click, it's starting to make sense, and I'm finally seeing the purpose behind all of it.
STEPHANIE: And I tell people that sometimes I feel like a broken record because I keep telling people the same things over and over again. There are so many recipes and so many little tips.
Oftentimes people ask me, "What is the secret?"... There is no secret! It's actually just you, consistently hearing things and putting in the work. Probably the secret is also working on your spiritual spoke and not just your physical spoke.
It's doing the action of what you're learning. I guess that's the secret, taking action.
STEVE: In a week, we're going to take you through some toxic thoughts. But this morning, I sat there and I was thinking about where some of these roots come from.
I heard these voices in my head, and it's the voices of people who mean a lot to me, saying certain things over and over again. It's like listening to the same song on repeat and telling Alexa to just keep playing it over and over. But those are the voices, the thoughts, and feelings that somebody or yourself could have placed into your subconscious and it's on repeat.
STEPHANIE: You're believing it all!
STEVE: It really breaks my heart to think that we can be caught in this hypnotic rhythm of not growing and not becoming the best version of who we are truly created to be. And so I had this major breakthrough and I was thinking "If people could just understand and get this"... I was weeping in my red light class, thinking about how this book, this concept, these thoughts and actions, these questions, and the choices that you make in the future can completely change your life.
I started weeping, and all of a sudden, I hear this voice in my head saying, "Well that's stupid, you're just a big crybaby!"... I'm like, "Where did that come from?", so those are some toxic thoughts.
There's going to be some spiritual resistance to all of this. So I'm going to encourage you to write down more things that you've never written down in your entire life. That's exactly what I'm doing right now, because if we can identify it then we can put purpose behind it, and it's going to get us to step into our greatness.
It's going to give us the power to actually change, and break free from the lies and some of the things that I believe, have been holding us back. It could even be generational curses that have been placed upon us. So this is our moment, and I need you to lean into it because it's going to happen.
STEPHANIE: Are you guys excited?
"What if you're in the same place that you are years from now, wanting to change but still doing the same thing over and over again? Is that the life you want to live?"
"I know this sounds depressing, but if you haven't seen the transformation that you're wanted in recent years, why assume you will in the future? How will something change if nothing changes?"
"This is where many give up. This is where so many people tell themselves, 'It's not worth it', 'I can't change', 'I'm going to stop'. To experience change that lasts, you need to focus on the "Who" not to "Do"...
STEPHANIE: That is the sentence of the day. We're focusing on the "Who" not the "Do". So if you are participating, the very first activity was to write down the things that you're going to start. It could be the behaviors that you want to change. And then stop the behaviors you want to get rid of. After that, we're going to do chapter one. But Steve, do you want to share an example of starting something versus stopping something?
STEVE: Yeah! So we've talked a lot about habits and systems. I've actually never started with the "Who" before the "Do". But to me, it starts with your thinking. It's like who you are, or who God says you are. I know what I want to fix, so I go into what's called behavior modification.
I can stop this technique, and I can start this new habit
I can do this new thing
I overate this food, now I'm just going too fast.
I justify and then I fail again. I keep thinking that tomorrow I've got grace and I'll do better. When I know, I just really have to stop that behavior.
That's why that question rocked me so hard. If you look back, me it was 2004 when I wrote down things in this book, and it has been almost 20 years of going around the same mountain. When am I ever going to go over it and defeat this?
STEPHANIE: So what is the mountain you're going through? What does that look like for you? tell them your story
STEVE: I will just say it is sugar. I go back and I look at every birthday party. When I was 12 years old, I ate two boxes of Twinkies, which was like 24 packs of sugar gone in an hour. I think of playing basketball and consistently drinking Gatorade. So the only reason why I'm not clinically obese is that I've had movement in my life. I'd like to think I'm active, not super active.
STEPHANIE: Okay, so you're not in the place that you want. You're not in terrible shape, but it's in your mind. People would probably look at you and say that you're silly, but the serious issue is the consumption and the thoughts about the food that you're going to eat.
STEVE: It's the power that it has on me. It's the power of justifying my actions around the same thing. We're going to talk about the habit loop pretty soon and in the upcoming days. It's like when I see dessert I get super excited, and it makes me think that it's what I need to eat, so I eat it.
And then what happens? I'll feel terrible and crash. Yesterday, I opened up an A.I. robot and asked the questions from my standpoint. It's actually helping bring out all of these different revelation in regard to why I think what I think, why I feel how I feel, why I do what I do, and why I have what I have.
Sugar, it's like an addiction. It constantly consumes so much of my mental bandwidth, or how I think. It consumes what it does to my physical body, how I feel, and the results that I get. Even to this point, as Stephanie's almost 40 years old, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of who you are, and who you're becoming. Stephanie's magnificent, and every day, I'm so honored to be able to be surrounded by greatness.
And I always say to my family, "You just wait, I'm going to be in the best shape of my life".
You may be saying, "That seems silly, the chairs are not breaking when you're sitting on it. There are other people who are worse"... Everybody has standards. What are your standards and expectations? I believe that my body is a temple for God, and I'm not truly taking care of it the way that it needs to be taken care of.
If I had the greatest Ferrari on Earth, would I be putting really bad gasoline in that vehicle? NO! I wouldn't! You put the best in what is the best!
So why do I keep filling my temple or my body, with stuff that's subpar or things that are more harmful than helpful? Why do I keep doing that? It's because in my mind, I kept trying to justify it. I keep doing behavior modification.
I'll do an intermittent fast
I'll drink my ketones
I'll just do extra work on the cardio machine.
STEVE: Well, you already know what things to do, because over the last eight years, you've had enough knowledge of learning about how ketones help, learning about intermittent fasting, and you've done prolonged fasting. So you've done all of the work and you've actually put in those habits, but it hasn't fixed it fully.
STEVE: It has kept me subpar, but it's better than okay.
STEPHANIE: Because if you wouldn't have the tools you have today, I think it would be way worse.
STEVE: I've had all the tools for a couple of years now with PRUVIT, our Bible, with books and thoughts to keep me sub par. But I'm getting ready to break through and go to a whole other level.
We've talked so much about all the Dos'... Do this, do that, do this, change this, try this, or get up early. Behavior modification does not work long-term. It has to start with who you say you are. It has to start with. You do what you do, because of what you think of yourself. It starts with you and how you think of yourself.
STEPHANIE: I think it's huge! Oftentimes, people have been told, "You'll always be overweight". It could have been their mom, their dad, or their family. And then you hear it, you believe it, and end up telling yourself those things repeatedly. So going through this book, you're going to probably break down. But if you're willing to do the work of getting those poor beliefs and wrong thinking out of your mind, then it will change you for the rest of your life. But you have to do the work.
CHAPTER 1: WHY DO YOU DO WHAT YOU DO?
"Here's the truth you need to embrace if you're going to change. You do what you do, because of what you think of you. Don't confuse this by what you think you do what you do".
"You may think you make decisions based on weighing the pros and cons, what makes you happy, or what's best for you and your family. Nope! You do what you do because of what you think of yourself".
STEVE: The reason why I'm really loving this is that it has a spiritual context to it, and it also has the science aspect to it.
STEPHANIE: So all I want you to hear is "You do what you do, because of what you think of you".
STEVE: So think about your habits or the things that you've really attempted to eliminate.
STEPHANIE: What are the things that you want to start, and what are the things you want to stop? Write these things down.
STEVE: When you think about those habits, how have you replaced them in the past, and what are those behaviors you've used?
Write down your starts, or behaviors you want to change. Think about all those behaviors you want to change. Behavioral modification is still a part of it, but we're going to work through it. And it will only work when you understand what you think of yourself.
Write down your starts, and the behaviors you want to change. And write down your stops, and the behaviors you want to get out of your life.
I want to start going to the gym.
I want to start waking up early.
I want to start eating better.
I want to start dating my spouse.
I want to start paying off debt.
I want to stop spending so much money.
I want to stop eating so much sugar.
I want to stop making excuses.
I want to stop hitting the snooze button.
What are your starts and what are your stops? You need to write these things down.
STEVE: This is so good, and I can't wait till we get to the habit loop. But think of your third question.
Imagine this, someone knocks on your door. You open the door, and it's God. And God says, "Hey, __________. I'm just curious, if you could change one thing for yourself right now, at this moment, what would you want that to be?
STEPHANIE: Steve asked me this the other day and I didn't know what to say.
STEVE: To experience change that last, you have to focus on "Who", not "Do". This comes out of Isaiah, but it says...
"For I am about to do a new thing. See I've already begun. Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness, I will create rivers in the dry wasteland".
I'm letting you all know this truth, that you have the power to change. It's already inside of you, and together through the help of this book, we're going to be able to identify who you are. And when you know who you are, you will know what to do.
So the challenge today is to write down your starts, the things or behaviors that you want to start doing. Write down your stops, and the behaviors you want to get out of your life.