Keto Mom here!
"Your success can be determined in part by those with whom you surround yourself with. But it can also be determined by those who you do not have around you. Small minded people have a way of sucking ambition right out of you. Big minds have a way of elevating you to reach your highest potential. One of the most important decisions you will make in your life is choosing your friendships". ~ Terri Savelle Foy
Points to Ponder:
01:11 Why Do I need to Dream
01:34 Power of Your Mindset
02:28 "Don't share Big Dreams with Small Minds"
04:09 Find People that will Help Elevate You
04:38 Choose your Associations Wisely
06:30 Misery loves Company
07:24 Staying with the Wrong Crowd
08:35 You are like, who you spend your time with
09:21 I don't want to hear the Negativity
11:24 When You Stop Learning, You Are Stagnant
13:12 Grow and Stretch You
14:36 A Different Environment, an Awkward One
15:38 Grab All of the Wisdom and Knowledge
15:58 You Learn, You Put it into Action
17:39 Action Step for the Weekend
18:59 Follow those People and Learn from them
19:08 Challenge: Find One Mentor
21:49 Find People that will Help you Grow
Full Episode Transcript
Good morning! Welcome to the Keto Mom page, we're going to dive in to the topic of "Don't share Big Dreams with Small Minds". We're going to talk about who you surround yourself with. It's super important for your goals, your dreams and for your visions. So as you're tuning in, where are you tuning in from? We are going to go over all of chapter eight. Why? Because I most likely won't be doing a live this weekend. We have four daughters and they are super involved in sports. We usually have volleyball on the weekends, church on Sunday and we keep that time for family. So you get me today, and then I'm going to give you an action step to dive in all weekend, which is basically going over chapter eight. If you don't know what I'm talking about, this is the book where we are going through, "Dream it. Pin it. Live it" by Terri Savelle Foy. Chapter eight, we were making a vision board and we're helping you dream.
You might ask "Why? Why do I need to dream, if my goal is just to get some fat loss?", "I just want to fit in the swimsuit", "I just want to feel healthier", "I just want to get really strong", "I want to look good for my wedding", "Why do I need to read?"...
Well, you don't need to do anything, but it is super important to understand the power of your mindset. Because if you can get focused in your head, you're going to find yourself making better decisions overall in all areas of your life.
So we've been going through books since May, that's almost five months now. And it is to help you understand and get your mindset right. I would love to know, if you've been here for a while, is it helpful? Yes or No? If you just started reading, do you feel like it's helping you on your health journey? Is it helping you make better choices? Are you enjoying this? I would love to know... I'm tuning in from Minnesota and it is a rainy day, but hopefully the sun comes out later today. So rainy Minnesota how's the weather where you're at?...
Today we are talking about "Don't share Big Dreams with Small Minds". The question is "Who should see your dreams?"... What we're going to talk about is, who do you surround yourself with or who is in your inner circle? Because that plays a key factor in your success.
You might say my coworkers, some friends, family, wherever you're at. You might underestimate the power of people that are in your life. If you look at your goals, and you look at the things you're achieving or not achieving, after we're done with this chapter you might be saying "I might need some new people to inspire me", "I might need a new friendship" or "I might need to find another environment so I can grow"...
So this isn't meant for you to feel "I need to find all new friends"... But it is going to bring an awareness of the people that you surround yourself with. So with that, listen to this
"Your success can be determined in part by those with whom you surround yourself with. But it can also be determined by those who you do not have around you. Small minded people have a way of sucking ambition right out of you. Big minds have a way of elevating you to reach your highest potential. One of the most important decisions you will make in your life is choosing your friendships"...
Maybe you're like "I don't have any friends", "I go to work at my family"... I'm going to give you some ideas of where to find certain people that will help elevate you and your goals. We're going to talk about that in a second. All right! So let me know if this is making sense, or if you agree or don't agree. Maybe you're like "It doesn't matter, my friendships or who they are". But as we go through this, you might think differently.
"Who you spend your time with, has a huge impact on the dreams that you will achieve or not achieve. Choose your associations wisely"...
At the end of this, you're going to write down the people that are in your life on a daily basis and you're just going to simply have an awareness. Do they help me grow? Or every time I'm trying to grow, every time I have goals or every time I share something, do they try to pull me down? You're just going to have that awareness. That's it! You don't have to cut people out of your life, unless you choose to. But it is going to determine if you will ever reach your goals. So she always shares tons of stories in here, but she says "I've heard it said that if you want to see where your life will be over the next five years, look at the list of names in your cell phone"... I would say, look at the people on your social media that you associate yourself with, or the people that you surround yourself with on a weekly basis. "You will become like this people you spend the most time with"...
So if you just simply look at the people that are in your life, and look at their lives. If they are ambitious, if they're focused, if they're disciplined, then that's awesome! But if they're not, you can probably bet you'll end up the same place at the same time in five years. Same exact environments, friendships, goals and all of those.
"We all need to make assessments of the people that we are spending the most time with and how they may affect our lives. I'm not suggesting that you cut out friends, I'm suggesting that you look for people that inspire you"...
So, for example, if people are constantly making fun of your goals and are always saying "You'll never reach that weight", "Oh, I can't believe that", "There's no way! You have a slow metabolism" or "Oh, it's your age"...
If you don't have somebody that believes that you can achieve it, then how are you going to keep going? "Misery loves company"...
So also on that thought, if you have people that don't believe in you, and then all of a sudden you're going after a goal? How easy is it for them to pull you down? Why? Maybe you're saying "Yes, my friends do that". You want to know why? Because as soon as you're chasing goals, and they're not on the same track that you are, they will want to pull you down as fast as possible because if they don't, they feel you might outgrow them. You might make them feel less than or feel guilty for not chasing their goals, because they don't want to. So they don't want you to do it either. Misery loves company, they want you to stay where you're at so that you help them feel better.
"Nothing gets you off course faster than staying with the wrong crowd".
And then she tells stories about something as simple as go to a prison and look at people in jail. You can have all of the conversations with every single person currently in jail. What you will find equally across the board is, they got into the wrong crowd. They got around the wrong people and ended up where they are at today, because of the associations they chose to make.
Or you can see this in your kids or maybe other kids. If you watch your children or other children, how easy is it for them to be persuaded in the groups that they're in? It's easy to look at your children and say "Don't hang out there", "Yes, hang out there"... Or maybe you have a child right now that you're struggling with. You can look at their friends and you might say "Listen, you need to find new friends"... Maybe you've forgotten, that happens to adults too. Same thing. You are like, who you spend your time with. So she goes through lots of different ideas, and she says
"Do not share your vision boards"... We're creating vision boards here. Our goal is to dream and our goal is to help you achieve your goals. "Don't share your visions with negative thinkers, sleepwalkers, or people that are not focused. Don't share your vision with negative talkers. gossipers or dream Thieves"...
There are people in our life, my husband and mine, that we know not to share our goals with. We know not to talk about money with or not to talk business with.
There are people in our life that I won't cut out, but I will not share certain things that we're going through or things that we're believing for, because I don't want to hear the negativity. I don't want to hear the doubt and I don't want to be pulled down. I'm not going to completely cut them out of my life, but they will not hear the things that we're doing... We also have friendships that we do trust. People that we can share "Here's what we're focused on", "Here's the dreams that we're going after", "What do you think? Yes or No"... People that we value their input. So we have either family or friends that we love as people, but we don't have the right same mindset. But we don't cut them out, we just don't share everything with them and that's okay.
So she shares a ton more stories, and here's what she says "You will shape your future by choosing to spend time with people that inspire you. You must be very selective about your association. Their habits, good or bad, tend to rub off on you. The activities that you engage in, the books that you read, the movies that you watch, and the people that you choose to interact with, are all influencing your life and shaping your identity"...
Same with you, your kids and your spouse, or everybody you surround yourself with. You might say "I can choose for myself". Alright! If you choose not to add people in your life that inspire you, or not to start reading good books, watch good movies, or really pay attention to what you're putting in your mind? Let's see where you end up in one year, if you do nothing. So physically right now, if you are not where you want to be, but you will not choose to find better people to influence you, or better people to inspire you, certain books and things to motivate you. If you do not do anything, the likelihood of you being further ahead in life is very unlikely. You might say "That's harsh! I have the discipline to do it"... Well, let's see.
Okay! This is super great. "When you stop learning, you are stagnant and you'll stop making progress on purpose. Get around people who make you feel awkward"...
You might be asking "Where do I find these people?" or "Who do I surround myself with?"... I'm going to give you an idea. If you want to get more in shape or if you want to get more fit. Where do you think you could surround yourself with people that that are on the same journey as you? Maybe you're saying "I work out at home by myself"... Currently in the situation that we're in, we work out at home and we made a gym upstairs. We invite people into our home to work out with us. That gets us out of bed because we know we have to open the door so that they can come into our home. It would be easier, I think for my husband and I, to sometimes just go "Justin is not coming over". He's our friend Justin, and we also had some other people that we were working out before, but not now. They didn't stick with it. But if Justin wasn't coming over to our house, it would be easy for us to say "I'm sore", or "Babe, let's work out tomorrow"... All right! He has to kick me out of bed.
But if you want to get healthier, do you think it might be a good idea to join a gym? There's people there that have the same goals as you, hopefully.
Not just chatty caddies, but people that want to work out. So if your goal is to get healthier or if you want different, you've got to put yourself in an environment where you're not on the top. You can't be the cap, unless you're teaching the class and you're hoping to inspire others.
You have to get in around or in environments that might make you feel awkward. They might make you feel less, and you might be going "I'm not as good as these people". That's good! It will grow and stretch you. So working out? Get to a gym. Let's say you want a better marriage, but all of the marriages around you are on the verge of divorce. Is that going to keep you in a strong marriage? No! So you might have to find a marriage conference or mentors.
Let's say you want to be a better mom, but you're around a whole bunch of parents that gripe about their kids, don't want to be around their kids, and are constantly gossiping. Is that going to grow you as a parent? No! Go join a mom's group, or go find one person that's a great mom, where you want to learn from her...
Business! If you were at the cap of your business, and you don't have anybody else to grow or stretch you, or help you think you could do more. Then you're not going to grow past what you believe. You've got to get around people that are going to make it awkward, you just have to. We put ourselves in positions like that, I think often, with people were constantly looking for people to grow from. We went to an event at the end of July or the beginning of August, and it was awkward. I felt like the lowest of the low, it was in my mind. It was about marriage and about business. We just put ourselves in a different environment, and in the end, we made some great friendships.
We have a lot of learning to do, we have some new mentors, but it felt awkward and I didn't love it. I didn't know these people, and we have a lot of relationships in our life. So I was like "I don't need this, I've got plenty of mentors", but we stuck it out and I really believe it's going to be great for our family, for our kids and for our business. But it felt awkward, because our cap was here, and these people I feel like are up there in different areas of their lives, and it was great. So you've got to figure out where these people are.
What she says is this "If you don't have somebody physically in your life for you to learn and grow from, it's okay"... That's why there's books, podcasts, or you can watch people's lives. So find people online, that you can learn and grow from. The key is learn, grab all of the wisdom and knowledge.
Whatever you want to learn from, like parenting, marriage, finances or your health, and then the key is to take action. She's going to give you an action step in this book. You can't just learn from people and not put it into action. That is the number one secret to success in anything that you want. You learn, you put it into action and then you will grow like those people...
We're going through this whole chapter, but you don't have to go through the whole chapter today. You have all weekend to do it. If you want success, surround yourself with successful people. Get out of your comfort zone.
Okay! Here's the action step, she said grab a piece of paper and write down the people in your life that are consistently in your life. And you're just going to have an awareness if they are helping you grow or are they pulling you down? You don't have to be mean and cut them out of your life. But if you don't have people in your life that surround you on a daily basis, whether you're learning from them online, reading books or podcasts. If you aren't having them up here in your mind to push you, then you need to have that awareness so that you can go find those people that are going to help you grow in the areas you want to grow... "You're going to make a column and you're going to get very strategic if they're helping you grow or not grow. Until you establish a strong network of like minded dreamers, you need to launch your personal growth by connecting with people who you admire. Just like I said, listening to audiobooks, listening to reading books, manuals for success, attending their conferences, or speaking engagements, watching them online, or subscribing to their podcasts. Absorb as much information as you can, until you begin to grow into the person you want to become by taking action"...
So at the very end of the book, she says here's your action step. By the way you can still do this, even if you don't have the book.
So here's what you have to do, make a list of five people, your closest friends that you surround yourself with. Identify at least one quality you admire about them, and then rate them from one to ten.
How would you rate their ambition? Just five people that are around you often. What is one thing you admire about them, and then rate them from one to ten. Are they ambitious? If you have great people in your life, that's awesome! But if you don't, it's okay! You might be the one that inspires them, and to help them to do more. Most people just need somebody to believe in them. So you get to be that person.
And then if you and then as you're looking at your goals, as you're looking at your boards, you're going to say "Okay! I want to lose fifty pounds" or "My goal is to run a marathon"... That means you've got to follow people that have ran marathons, and you've got to learn from them. If you're on Instagram, you can type in marathon runners, and you can follow people that have done it. If your goal is to be Keto, welcome! You're here, so we'll give you tips and tricks and recipes to eat better or whatever your goals are. I follow a whole bunch of homeschool moms, because I'm a homeschool Mom. I learned from them, and then I take that action and I implement it. So you are going to look at the dreams, goals, visions that you have, follow those people and learn from them. Then you're going to implement it, take action and grow. As you go through life, my challenge to you is try to find one mentor. One person local to you that you can meet with or grow from. Some of our mentors from Oklahoma, are going to come and stay with us next week. We met them years ago when we only had two daughters. I'll tell you the story real quick and then let you go. My husband used to work for a church here locally, he wanted to work for a church in Oklahoma. It's called Life Church. So he applied for the job, he got the job, and we moved our family.
We knew this many people. We were young, we had no idea what we were doing, but it was the best decision that we ever could have made. We moved away from our family here for years. But we got to learn and we had to grow together. We couldn't lean on our parents. It was incredible!
And one of the very first days that we were in Oklahoma, we went to church. And I remember standing in the back, we had two babies at the time. I remember seeing this mom in front of me, and she had three girls. They were worshiping and they looked like an incredible family.
I thought I needed to go meet her and I needed to know her. I need her in my life, I need her to teach me because her daughters were, I think her daughters are at least four to seven years older than our girls. And I thought I need to learn from her.
So after the service, I ran up to her and I was like, "Hi, my name is Stephanie. I clearly don't know you, were brand new to the area and I want to learn from you". And she was like "Oh, hi!"... I was like "I have two daughters"... I didn't know that we would have four daughters. And we created an incredible friendship, she invited me to her small group. I got to know a ton of incredible women and it helped me grow as a person. I stepped out, I got uncomfortable and I went to a group that I was uncomfortable with. I felt I was here, and they were all up here.
But we got to grow, and every time that my husband and I had wanted to do something in our life... Like we wanted to get out of debt at a young age, so we went to a Dave Ramsey Class. Dave Ramsey's great, look them up online if you have financial issues. Anytime we had needed to help in our marriage, we had marriage mentors. Anytime we needed help with parents, we found somebody who we admired and said, "Can you help us in this area?". Spiritually the same thing, emotionally, the same thing, business the same thing. The way we wanted to eat, we started following other people.
We learned, we implemented and here's how the Keto Mom page came about. So find people that you admire, find people that will help you grow and get around those people.
You might have to get uncomfortable, so ask that person "Will you mentor me?", "Hey, I'd love to learn from you, could I meet with you once a month?"... So I hope that encourages you, and inspires you to go through chapter eight for the weekend. We'll come back on Monday and we'll continue to go through the book. If you haven't started creating your vision board, we can do that at the end of the month. But you don't have to wait to start, you can start creating. Continue to tune into the page, ask questions.
I'm always here to help and I hope you have an incredible day.
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