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"ATOMIC HABITS" (Chapter 10): Find and Fix the Causes of Bad Habits | Keto Mom Book Club

Updated: Oct 11, 2021

Keto Mom here!

"What you have to do is you change and make the things that you're doing unattractive. Get it clearly into your mind, you are losing nothing and you are making marvelous positive gains. Not only in your health, energy and money, but also confidence, self respect, freedom, and most importantly of all, the length of quality of your future life"... James Clear

It's important that you take care of your mindset. It's important that you get up and move your body, it's important that you do make healthier choices so that you can play with your kids and your grandkids. There's never a too late moment to start. You have to start today, you get to do all these things.

Points to Ponder

01:36 You are in control of your day

02:31 How to find and fix causes of your bad habits

04:56 You have power in your words

05:56 Cravings come stems from the awareness of your emotions

07:08 Take action on what you're learning

09:16 "You have to" and "You get to"

09:34 A man who used a wheelchair

10:01 Perspective

10:27 Our story, six years ago

11:50 If your cup isn't filled, how are you going to fill up somebody else's cup

12:12 Mindset

13:11 Perspective is important

14:14 There is a positive in everything

Full Episode Transcript

Good morning everybody! Welcome to the Keto Mom page. It's a little bit later than I normally do my lives. But we took the girls out on a little date this morning, my husband is heading to Las Vegas for a little meetup with some of our team. And so we switched our morning up a little bit. But as you're tuning in, where are you tuning in from, we are going through the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear, and we're on chapter 10. If you are new here, we are going through a book every single day, every month for the rest of my life, or as long as you tune in here. So if you tune in some time in the morning, my hope is to get the live done around 7:30, but today was a little different. That's okay, because we are adaptable, and you can watch the replay. I am tuning in from Minnesota, and I already did my "Miracle Morning", most of it. For those of you who are doing the "Miracle Morning" challenge, we started a 30 day challenge to just get your mornings right, to wake up intentionally, to wake up with a purpose, to wake up not after hitting your snooze button eighteen times, and to do things to set up your day.

Welcome to day 10 of our book 3 session

Drinking water right away in the morning, meditating or having five minutes of silence, being mindful, being grateful, working out, moving your body, and owning your morning. You can choose to do the six Minute Miracle Morning or the sixty minute to make sure that you are in control of your day and not letting your day control you. That is the power of the Morning Miracle book, and it's super great. I don't have it with me, I left it the other room, but it's called the "Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod. Then we started "Atomic Habits", I think June 10th, and we're on chapter ten. So if you're tuning in every day or if you're following along with the book, awesome. What are you loving about it, and are you implementing it? What I love to say is every time that I come on here and teach you something, or give you an action step, or you watch somebody else is, do not gain all the knowledge and wisdom and not do anything with it because the point is to take action. In this chapter, he talks about how to find and fix causes of your bad habits.

He talks about a story of his friends and how they all were smoking and when you're in an environment, you usually end up like the five people you hang around the most. He talks about how you're in an environment, whether it's eating, smoking, drinking or doing something that you might not want to do, but you do it because everybody else is doing it. So all of the guys in the story were smoking, and one guy specifically said I quit smoking.

He read a book and he said this book changed the way he thought, which allowed him to stop smoking because he realized he wasn't the victim.

And I'll just give you the brief understanding of what he said. He said the book didn't say, here's how you stop smoking or here's what you should be doing. Instead it gave him a different mindset. So during the entire book, he said I stopped smoking because I stopped lying to myself. What the author did was switch the way that he thought about it. So instead of using things like don't smoke throughout the entire book, he said things like, you think that you are quitting something but you're not quitting anything because cigarettes don't do anything for you.

You are the 5 people you surround yourself with
You think smoking is something that you need to do to be social, but it's not. You can be social without smoking. You think that smoking is about relieving stress, but it's not. Smoking does not relieve your stress or your nerves, it destroys them.

So what the author did was instead of saying quit smoking, he made the reader believe that smoking wasn't good for them or wasn't doing anything for them. He simply switched the way they were thinking about it, and that's what you can do with any bad habit that you have. I'll give you an example as we keep going, so he says "What you have to do is you change and make the thing that you're doing unattractive"... Throughout the entire book, the author said "Get it clearly into your mind, you are losing nothing and you are making marvelous positive gains. Not only in your health, energy and money, but also confidence, self respect, freedom, and most importantly of all, the length of quality of your future life"...

He was saying, he wasn't a smoker and he was speaking against all of the negative, Do you guys realize that you have power in your words, it's biblical. The Bible says your words have the power of life and death. We teach our kids that your words give life or your words bring death.

There's so much I could teach on just that in general, but it's super powerful. So if you're constantly saying, for example I'm a smoker, I have to smoke because it calms my nerves. And you're speaking it out loud then you're going to end up believing it. Same thing with eating, I'm an emotional eater, I always eat when I'm sad, I have to go get some chocolate, it's my time of the month, right girls? So he talks about where do cravings come from, and he goes cravings come from different types underlying motives. So there's different motives, to the things that you do, or your habits. He said cravings come from or a lot of it stems from the awareness of your emotions. We've talked about this before, for example if you're sad, do you eat? If you're mad, do you eat? If you're anxious, I hear people say I eat out of anxiety. I eat because I'm emotional, I eat because it's my time of the month, I eat because my kids aren't listening. I eat because I'm bored. And so he talks about where cravings come from and all the different things like were motives lay.

Cravings comes from our emotions

There's so much and a lot of this is science so I really think that this is a book that you can listen to and have an awareness about. But you really just need the book, because then you can go highlight and underline and really dive into. We're on chapter ten, but I don't want you to feel like you're behind so don't give up. If you're on chapter five, read it at your own pace.

The point is to get up and if you have to read one page a day, awesome. If you can read for twenty minutes, still awesome, and then you take action on what you're learning.

So he says "A craving is a sense of something that is missing"... He talks about desire, about how the emotion that allows you to mark things as good, bad or indifferent. Emotions run so much, and if you can learn to control your emotions and replace it with a good habit, you will find yourself having more success in the areas of your life that you want to have success in. Relationships, finances, eating, exercise, "How to reprogram your brain? You can make bad habits or hard habits more attractive if you can learn to associate them with a positive experience". So he says, imagine changing just one word...we've talked about this "I don't have to get up in the morning" instead "I get to get up in the morning". "I don't have to go work out", "I get to go work out"... Your words, and the way that you think about things, will shift the perspective of what you get to do. I want you to pay attention to the words that you're saying and the things that you're thinking before you do it.

The book is called "Atomic Habits", and if you're brand new, I'd love to know if you're new, so post new below. We go through a book every single morning, and I will be doing this every day. If you want to learn recipes, tips and tricks, or anything about the keto lifestyle, that's all on the page, too. So scroll back to 2015 and actually, I think today's the day that I actually started the Keto Mom page we should celebrate. We should probably celebrate, tune in later and maybe I'll do a fun giveaway. But today is the day that I posted about the Keto Mom page. It was in my stories on my page, and it's kind of fun. Six years of super fun. Anyways, I like to read, so I'm going to share it with you. The key point is that you get to wake up, you get to make another sale, and you get to cook dinner for your family. By simply changing one word, you shift the way that you view the events in your life. The key point is that both versions are reality, like "You have to" and "You get to"... You "have" to do these things and you also "get" to do them. We can find evidence for whatever our mindset is and what we choose.

Perspective is very powerful

So he said "Once he heard a story about a man who used a wheelchair. When he was asked if it was difficult being confined. The man said, I'm not confined to my wheelchair, I'm liberated by it. If it wasn't for the wheelchair, I would have been bound in my bed for the rest of my life. This shift in perspective completely transformed how he lived each day"...

He was not confined to his wheelchair, because if he didn't have a wheelchair, he'd be bound to his bed, and that's perspective.

You get to get up and move your body. How many of you have a cell phone and you're watching me, you are blessed. You have so much, and some of you just need to know that you're worthy for success. You are worthy to get up and take care of yourself. For you mamas who have little babies, I have four daughters. They are thirteen, eleven, nine and eight, and I remember when they were all little. We lived in Oklahoma at the time, and my husband worked in the ministry. He worked for a church called Life Church. And first of all, financially, I'm not even going to tell you where we were at. Because at that point in time, we had to be very resourceful with our finances. But also being away from our family, friends and grandparents, and being in a state where I had to adapt and make new friends. Having a brand new baby two, four and six year old, I didn't go anywhere. I did not take care of myself, I would try to work out but I didn't have the accountability, and I kept feeling guilty.

So for you moms, if you ever feel like I have to go take care or I get to take care of my kids. But my mindset was I have to do this, I have to clean the house, I have to take care of my kids, I have to make dinner, and I don't have time. I didn't have anybody coaching me, and but I said "Stephanie, it's okay, to take fifteen minutes and go read"... It is okay for you to go do a little workout. I didn't allow myself to do any of those things, because I didn't think that it was right of me to do that. And I want you to know, being on the other side of diapers and naptimes, having complete independence with my children,

I wish somebody would have said "Stephanie, give yourself some time, because if your cup isn't filled, how in the world are you going to fill up somebody else's cup"...
The perfect time is Now

How are you going to not scream at your kids, how are you going to not be exhausted at the end of the day. How are you going to do all these things if you're not taking care of yourself? So for those of you who need to hear that, it's important that you take care of your mindset. It's important that you get up and move your body, it's important that you do make healthier choices so that you can play with your kids and your grandkids.

There's never a too late moment to start. You have to start today, you get to do all these things.

The rest of the book is great, he just kind of broke things down. For example, I need to go running in the morning, instead of saying "I need to" say "It's time to build endurance and get faster". If your goal is I need to get financially free, he says saving money is often associated with sacrifice. Think of it as freedom rather than limitations.

So simple truth living below your current means increases your future means. Instead of saying I have to save money, or I can't go to eat, think of things differently. What are you gaining from that? Perspective is important.

He goes through meditation, and through so many things. So here's the ultimate message of what he was talking about. "The key to finding and fixing the causes of your bad habits is to first reframe the association you have about it. It's not easy, but if you can reprogram your prediction, not "I have to" but "I get to", you can transform a hard habit into an attractive one". Hard habit of exercising, or hard habit of choosing better foods. I don't want to go through the drive thru, all of these things, it has to do with your perspective. It has to do with the words that you're speaking, it has to do with the way that you're thinking, you get a shift, one degree. Not I have to, but I get to. I have to go run, I get to go run. I don't get to go out to eat, I'm saving money to get out of debt. So I can be financially free for our children, shift it, if it's a negative shifted to a positive, there is a positive in everything. You just have to choose to find it and to speak it. So I think this chapter is great.

Continue to tune in, and I'm here to help

What do you think of this chapter, and what do you think of the book? Are you going through it, and are you implementing these action steps.

If all you do today is changed the words to "I get to", or "I am blessed". I get to drive my kids around all day long to their camps, I get to make our family dinner, I get to clean my house. Because I have a family, I get to do the laundry.

Thank you, Jesus. I have kids to do laundry for. You want to know how many people would probably love to do laundry. I hear this all the time, and sometimes I get to go wash all those windows that have Dog Face nose prints and children fingerprints. Because somebody has told me that someday I will miss them. I'm not quite there yet. I feel like I'm in the middle, I'm not at the baby stage. My children are not about to leave, and I'm sure I'm going to miss it. So you get to do all of these things, Perspective. I hope that helps, continue to tune into the page. Always message me with questions, whether it's how do I start this lifestyle. Whatever it is message me, I will give you some insight.

I hope you guys have a great day. We'll talk to you soon.

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