THE 15 INVALUABLE LAWS OF GROWTH (Chapter 9.1): The Illusion of Perfect | Keto Mom Book Club
"𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮. 𝗜𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗺 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻. 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵".Full Episode Transcript:
Hey everybody! Welcome to the Keto Mom page. My name is Stephanie and we are going to talk about "The Illusion of Perfection". I was listening to two podcasts on the airplane. One talked about the power of consistency and the other one was from a pastor. It was a podcast by Erwin McManus, and he talked about, "What does it take to be great?" I also listened to a podcast about consistency.
"𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁".
Like in order to reach a goal, everything has to be perfect, therefore, people don't start. How often have you found yourself wanting to start something, but because it wasn't perfect, you just didn't do it? It wasn't the perfect environment, the cupboards weren't full of the most perfect foods, or the timing wasn't perfect, so you ended up not starting at all.
"𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁"
Nothing in social media is perfect, it makes it seem like everybody has a perfect life. It would seem like other people have the perfect environment, better foods, better jobs, better things in their town, or they've got more support.
But a lot of it can be an illusion because you don't know the struggle somebody else is going through.
I want you to just want you to finish this month and dive into a new month. The only way you fail is if you quit. If you get back up and you grab a hold of what you were doing, you did not fail. Don't mess up good for perfect. There's no such thing as perfect. There's good, there's better, and probably the best option in anything that you're doing.
Sometimes, I'll tell people who are going out to eat or food in general. There's a good, better, and best option. Good, better, best is a good concept when you're thinking of what to eat. The best meal or food to eat is probably something that you would make at home. Why? Because you know the ingredients, and you're the cook. It's an incredibly better option.
If you're not at home, you can take the buns off the burgers and croutons off the salad. You can choose salmon and veggies, or a salad. There's always a good, better, or best option out there. Not everything will be the best, but you get to choose what you eat every single day.
Don't mess up good for perfect.
Don't compare your life to anybody else's.
Don't have the illusion that people have this perfect life.
I want you to focus on your goals and stay in your lane. Always remember that the only way you fail is if he quit. Oftentimes we take on the action and we create an identity from that action, may it be good or bad. For example, if you failed at something today or things didn't turn out how you wanted them to. Instead of saying that you messed up, you're a failure, or you're not going to do that again. What you need to do is, tell yourself you're not a failure.
Try to learn and grow from your experiences. If you move forward, you're going to learn and keep going. Don't internalize those negative things, and keep them as your identity.
You can get back up and keep moving forward, you are not a failure. You may have failed at some things, and that's okay because we all have failed at some point.
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘂𝗽, 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱, 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲.
If you feel like you've already lost your vision, then we need to find it again.
If you dropped your goals 2 weeks ago, then we're going to go back, pick them up and keep going.
If you didn't set any goals for this year so far, then you need to figure out your "Why" and what you want.
I'm going to guess if you're here, you probably want something in your life. Let's write it out, let's get super smart and specific about your goals, and let's go after them. We're not going to wait till February 1st, we're going to start right now.
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹"
If you expect to do this perfectly, what happens when you have a slip-up? You might quit. But if you already know that this is not going to be perfect, you might keep going. If your morning doesn't start out how you want it to be, just get back up, control your EQ, keep moving forward, and don't do it tomorrow. We learn and we move forward. That was the podcast that I listened to today, I just love listening to podcasts. Going back to the book, "The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth" by John Maxwell.
Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ ９：
"Ｔｈｅ Ｌａｗ ｏｆ
Ｔｈｅ Ｌａｄｄｅｒ"
𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁...
You need to have patience
You need to have passion
You need to have perspective
You need to remember the big picture
You need to recognize that everyone has weaknesses
You need to be leadable, teachable, and coachable
This is what we say to ourselves, or anybody on our team. If your goal is to grow, you need to be leadable, teachable, and coachable. Or if your goal is to help your family and people around you. You have to ask them these questions before you give them advice.
Are you open to coaching?
Are you open to a suggestion?
That will actually save you from arguments or even marriage conversations. When you are open to coaching, you will grow faster. It's actually an incredible reminder to keep in mind and to use especially on your kids.
"𝗪𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀. 𝗪𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗯, 𝗮 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿. 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗯 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺"
I had this conversation with my husband, I said, "You know what's so interesting about social media? There's a fine line between sharing your life because you were excited but not wanting other people to feel bad".
I love talking about food.
I love talking about taking care of our bodies.
I love helping people with their mindsets.
I love helping people with their emotions
I love a lot of different conversations.
One of the conversations I love is about "Awareness". I realized that there's this awareness that some people don't have. When people share everything online, it's not to make other people feel bad. I love sharing my life online because I love what I'm doing with my family. But there are times when I don't want to share because I don't want to make other people feel bad. We have to understand that everybody has their own challenges in life.
I just wanted to talk about this, because so many people fall into the trap of comparison. I share a lot of our life online, but a lot of people don't know what we went through for ten years, prior to getting where we are at today.
We never went without, but mentally, raising four babies, being away from our family, and working in the ministry, there were really hard years.
So I actually started sharing my life on social media, probably ten years ago, because I used it as a scrapbook of my life. It was just for me, and I didn't know I would inspire other people or help people even with their health and fitness journey. I didn't expect that to happen.
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿...
Do I share more?
Does it make people feel bad?
How do people perceive others online?
Does it even matter
Do I care what people think?
What I want you to understand is, you don't really know how long it took others to get to where they are at today. You don't know the years of struggles and challenges they had with food or their addictions. All you see now is the transformation.
So I just really want to encourage you, tell you that you're amazing. You can do it, and you have everything that it takes, just find that determination. I also want to share a couple more things that I learned from the other podcast. I'll give you a very quick overview, it was about being great.
𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁?
"𝗢𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱 '𝗜𝗳 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻, 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻?'"
He attacked that phrase and he said oftentimes people say the word "Destiny". I don't like that. Instead, I like that you are called to greatness. You have a calling on your life so you've got to take action and go after it. Destiny doesn't just fall in your lap, nothing is destined to happen and you don't just get lucky. Even with your health, you've got to work at it.
He said that the thing that irritated him the most, as a pastor was when people blamed things like, "What will be, will be", or "If it's meant to be, it will happen".
That should not be the case, because you have talents and gifts. You need determination, you need discipline and you need to have the focus to go after what you want.
Because it doesn't just happen. You need to do, what you can do, and you let God do the rest. You do the natural, he does the supernatural. But you don't just sit on your hands and hope that you get healthy or hope that your health changes. It doesn't just happen.
The podcast was incredible, and the message was to take responsibility and ownership. He said that there are people who can, and there are people who will. And those people might still get to their goals, but it's the people who "Must". It's the people who have a sense of urgency and determination to do it, no matter what, who will succeed in life.
𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘆...
You should read a book
You should listen to a podcast
You should listen to something to get your mindset right
You've got to be able to motivate yourself
You've got to be able to inspire yourself
𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼? 𝗢𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁?
My husband asks me all the time, "Stephanie, you don't need anything. It took us years to work on our finances. We went through Dave Ramsey, we are debt-free. We worked really hard for ten years. We really are great in our finances. We have an incredible marriage. We've worked on our relationships with our kids. We love our business, and we are living a life today from the seeds we planted"
Why are you working so hard? Why do you care if all the messages are answered before you go to bed?
I do it because I love it!
I love inspiring people.
I love answering questions.
I don't need to listen to somebody else to be motivated.
I'm going to do it no matter what, even if I am having a bad day or even if I don't feel like doing it.
If somebody or if something happens, I'm still going to do the things I want to do.
I'm still going to work on my business.
I'm still going to have conversations.
I'm still going to do the things I want to do with my life, no matter what.
And that's just in me.
So if you can't get off the couch, if you don't inspire yourself and if you can't find something inside of you. Then that's what you need to work on first. You need to work on what's in your heart.
Maybe it's letting go of the past, bitterness, or even anger. You need to let it go. You might have to talk to somebody about it. Give somebody a phone call, or you can write it on a piece of paper and burn it. You might have to speak to a counselor or get some help.
Be done with the past, and start moving forward. Stop blaming anybody else. You know what you want, so you're going to get it no matter what. Again, I can share with you all the Keto tips, tricks, and recipes. I can tell you what I eat, I can give you food ideas and I can tell you all of those things about Keto. But I can't change your mindset. I can help you, but you've got to do the work.
You've got to get up in the morning and choose to have a positive attitude. Have a grateful heart and share what you're thankful for.
Have perspective of "I get to" and not "I have to". Choose to read something or listen to somebody to get your mindset right. Choose to go to the gym, and choose what food you put in your mouth. We can only guide you, but you have to do the action. You can do it!
So with all of that said, I hope you guys have an incredible night. Thank you for tuning in, and we'll talk to you soon.
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