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Overcoming Unforgiveness: Strategies for Emotional Healing (Mind Shift by Erwin McManus)

Updated: Oct 25, 2023

Welcome to the Keto Mom page, my name is Stephanie. We're going to talk about Overcoming Unforgiveness: Strategies for Emotional Healing Mind Shift by Erwin McManus. It's going to give you different mind shifts, perspectives, and thoughts to help you realize that your mindset is important.

I want to help you with your thinking, because if you have goals to be a healthier or be the best version of yourself, it starts in your thoughts, your words, and the way you believe in yourself. And if you don't see that in a positive light and you're constantly beating yourself, then it's going to come out in the way you act and treat other people and the decisions that you make.

I actually feel like this topic today is really serious. It's about a poison that most people have in their lives and they don't even realize it. But it's never too late. If you don't realize it now and it sneaks within your soul, it's going to be challenging to get out. It's a choice. If you do not take this seriously, it can ruin your entire life.


I've experienced this and watched people really go down a negative rabbit hole in their life because of this one poison. And so Erwin McManus, talks about how one of the hardest people to help is a bitter person.

"We know that obesity and bad diets lead to heart disease which can kill many people. But bitterness too is a silent killer. Nothing will steal your health, your relationships, your joy, faster than carrying your emotional baggage with you. Bitterness resentfulness, envy, unforgiveness can poison your soul and cost you the intimacy of being loved and truly known in your life".

Is there anybody in your life right now that you have not forgiven? It causes frustration and anger. I've seen this in people's lives. I've talked to people in the last 48 hours about this topic.

Bitterness opens a door into your life that you do not want to open.

If we're just talking about your health journey, and you feel like you're eating perfectly, but you don't pay attention to your emotions or things from the past, or resentment for other people. That actually plays a factor for the rest of your life.

"We have access to a global incubator that allows us to study humans like never before. It's called the Internet. Isn't it interesting how you can watch behaviors just all over the place, and people gravitate to the negativity".


People tend to share all of the gossip about famous people rather than encouraging people who've won an award. How fast we gravitate towards negativity, gossip, and slander. Social media can easily give a negative thought or we can easily give somebody our viewpoints.

In the past eight years, especially in the 1st 3 years when I started the Keto Mom page, I had never experienced more negativity. People surely wanted to tell me their thoughts of how I was eating. It's interesting how we all have access to something where we can easily tell somebody something negative, but we would never tell them those words in person. This is something that so many people experience, whether it's with a parent, or somebody in the past.


Our emotions play a huge role in our lives.

As I think, so I feel.

As I feel, so I do.

As I do, so I have.

Think about what you have in your life. What you have today is a result of your actions. It starts from a feeling that comes from your thoughts. If your feelings are controlled by other people, bitterness, anger, and frustration.

I am where I am today because of my feelings.

How am I feeling?

Am I frustrated?

Am I envious?

Am I bitter?

And how do I get that poison out of my life?

"I've come to the belief that what we are seeing through social media is the external reflection of our inner worlds. We must choose positive emotions, while negative emotions seem to choose us".

I thought that was super insightful. We must choose the positive and get rid of the bitterness. It's easy to fall into the trap of negativity, and unforgiveness. You might feel like you want to chase that gossip because it sounds interesting, but it actually causes a door of poison to open.


"That's why optimism is a discipline. It takes discipline, to see the good when things are going bad. It takes discipline to see the beauty in the midst of tragedy. It takes discipline to see the best in people when they let us down. It takes discipline to forgive when the person does not deserve it. It takes discipline to reject the negative voices in our heads and choose to listen to the optimist who cheers us on".

Bitterness is a poison that numbs you before it kills you.

Bitterness doesn't protect your heart, it hardens it. And when you are bitter, it becomes the only emotion that you feel.

What's worse is that bitterness cannot be contained. When you hold on to bitterness against one person, you become bitter against the entire world.

I had this conversation with somebody this morning. I am, hopefully helping her walk through some hardships in her life. The first thing I said to her was, "You got a lot of things to decide. You're walking through a really hard time in your life, but I would encourage you not to allow it to cause a root of bitterness in your life. Because if it does, it's going to reflect in everything else that you put your hands to. Like your marriage, your children, your relationships, or even your business".


Other people around us can be the happiest people, but when something comes up, the bitterness come out.

You have to let it go.

You've got to forgive.

You've got to forget.

I'm not trying to tell you to forget but there are things that have happened in your life that you can't control. But one of the things that we have to choose, and that will ultimately guide us in our life is forgiveness. It's not that you forget, it's not that you put trust in people that may have done you wrong. But if you can choose to forgive and get that poison out of you, it's going to help all areas of your life.

"This begins by taking control over the story that defines you. Identify the experience that has shaped you, the memories that haunted you. Don't try to forget them. Instead, turn them into fuel. You are not a powerless victim, no matter what you have been told or what you've been through, refuse to let anyone or anything, have that kind of control over your life. Your pain is real, but the feeling of powerlessness is a lie".

"You are part of the bigger story. Yours is a story of hope. You need to make your story a story of resilience. Yours is a story of faith. You overcome challenges. You have wounds, but they are not your story. Your story is a story of healing. Refuse to allow the negative moments of your life to define what you will become. The mind shift that you need to take on from this chapter is allowing you to see that bitterness is a poison and forgiveness is the cure".

"So to understand that forgiveness is a strength, is one of the most powerful mind shifts that you can ever make in your life. Forgiveness is an art form. Forgiveness requires a level of mastery that sets few people into the next place that they're going in their life".

I truly believe that. Understand that this mind shift of forgiveness is a cure, and bitterness is a disease. I can't control other people's feelings, but I can control my emotions. I'm not going to let the things that other people have done to me, dictate my story for the rest of my life because it creates powerlessness.

But if you can take back your own story, do not let the bitterness take root and become who you're becoming in the future. That doesn't have to be your story. Rip it out and forgive. Keep moving forward. It doesn't mean that you forget, but you forgive.

Isn't it interesting how you hold on to things, and that person isn't even thinking about it?


You have a choice today to let it go and forgive. Forgiveness is a superpower, and if you don't choose to move on and forgive, you're going to let that seed grow and eventually it's going to harden your heart and affect the rest of your life.

You get to choose to either get it out of your life, or plant it and it will become so deeply rooted that it becomes so hard to pluck out.

You need to tell your heart to forgive. Don't hold that person to this standard, and don't allow that person's power control your story for the rest of your life. It's up to you.

Alright! We'll continue to go through this book. If you have questions, you can send me a message. I can encourage you and give you some suggestions. I hope you guys have a wonderful day and I'm always here to help. We'll talk to you very soon. Bye!

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