"ATOMIC HABITS" (Chapter 7): The Secret to Self Control | Keto Mom Book Club
Updated: Oct 11, 2021
Keto Mom here!
What is something that you are doing or what is that bad habit that you want to change... Think about what that is, and what you have to eliminate. Whether it's in your home or at the office, or maybe it's the route that you drive to get to work, like you're always driving by this restaurant and it drags you in. If you can identify the cue or identify the trigger, then that is what you have to change. That is what you have to eliminate, that's what you need to get rid of.
Points to Ponder
00:09 "Atomic Habits" by James Clear
02:00 Reacting versus responding
02:36 EQ vs AQF
04:02 The only way you fail is if you quit
04:19 Create a habit and a system
04:28 Secret to self control
04:45 Disciplined people
06: 34 Remove the trigger
08:19 Create an environment for you to succeed
Full Episode Transcript
Good morning! How are you doing? Happy Monday and thank you for tuning into the Keto Mom page, we are diving into "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Here's the deal, I guess I really failed, I did not do it yesterday. So Happy Father's Day to those who are fathers, whether it's physically or spiritually, but yesterday I did not come on here and do the live mainly for a couple reasons. I was being present with my husband, we had church yesterday. But I would love to know this, for those of you who are going through the book, maybe you consistently work out throughout the week, maybe you consistently eat well.
Do you take a day off? So I did not read, I mean I've read this book before. I did not read the book yesterday, but I also had other self development things that I was doing. Does that make sense? So I was going to come on here really late last night, and I was going to go through chapter seven. But then I thought, you know what, it's 10 o'clock at night.
And I want people to know that if for some reason you have a day where you slipped up, or maybe you didn't read, or you hit the snooze, it doesn't mean that all is failed.
So I sat down last night, I thought I'm just not going to do it. And because I was not able to do it in the morning, I had a great day with our family. I need people to know that if there is a day where you don't meet your expectations, it's okay. You do it the next day, so technically, we should be on chapter eight. But we didn't go through chapter seven yet, and that doesn't mean that I failed or you failed. We're going through chapter seven now, it is what it is. I had a great conversation with one of my friends yesterday, and we were talking about reacting versus responding in any area of your life. We talked about EQ, and yesterday, she was asked, "How do you constantly respond versus react?" EQ stands for your emotional quotient. You know how you have an IQ, like how smart you are, or how smart the test says you are.
You also have EQ and AQ. So your EQ is how well you handle situations if something comes up, and if it's not the way that you want it to go, are you adaptable? That's AQ, how adaptable are you, and your EQ is how you respond.
Do you react out of anger, or do you respond like it's not a big deal. I'll get to it when I can get to it. So last night for me, was I'm going to respond, I don't need to do a live at 10 o'clock at night. I already know that I should have have done it that morning. Or should I have? If I didn't pick up the book, because I wanted to go through this as fast as possible and do it consistently every day, does it mean I failed? If you didn't work out or you had some dessert with your dad, or you did something yesterday that doesn't quite line up with your goals, does that mean you failed? No, not at all.
So we're picking up in chapter seven today, and for those of you who are doing the "Miracle Morning", this today should be your day seven or your day eight. Does this mean that if you were trying to do 30 days in a row, and yesterday, maybe you didn't do all of them, does it mean you fail? No. The only way you fail is if you quit. So I'm going to consider today day seven for everything, it might be your day eight, or maybe you started early in your day nine.
The point is, the more that we consistently do an action and go after better, it will eventually create a habit and a system that moves into a lifestyle.
So this chapter is about the secret to self control. It's actually a very simple concept and logical answer, if you put it into play. So I want you to listen to this, he oftentimes starts out with a story. He says this "Disciplined people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower or self control. In other words, disciplined people spend less time in tempting situations"... I talked about this quite a bit on this page, whether you've heard it or not. It's a very simple concept. How do you want to be disciplined in something, I want to know... What are you going after? Do you want to be more disciplined in waking up early, do you want to be more disciplined in drinking water. Do you want to be more disciplined in eating better, working out, or watching your words? Whatever it is, you have to set up your environment to do so.
So "The people with the best self control are typically the ones who need to use it the least". So then he talks about "We're about to create a disciplined environment"... So for example, this weekend, we had a whole bunch of friends over. We had a fun time playing in the water, we had a fish fry, everybody brought food over. So something that you might not want to eat would be on the table for everybody to eat.
Discipline would be are you going to grab it, or are you not going to grab it. Discipline would be, now everybody left, if it sits on my counter, and I see the cookie sitting on my counter, it's going to be easy for me to grab them throughout the week.
But if I want to be disciplined and create an environment where I don't eat sugar, I have to remove the trigger, I have to remove the cue.
We've talked about that in beginning of this book. So he says, "Once a habit has been encoded in your brain, the urge to act or follow upon that, depends on the environment that you're in". Here's the punchline, "You can break a habit, but you're unlikely to forget it"...
So he uses smoking as an example, you can break the smoking habit, but you're unlikely to forget it. There's lots of things that can trigger it, so you have to remove it from your environment or the cues caused the trigger. Once the mental groove of a habit has been carved into your brain, they are nearly impossible to remove entirely. Even if they go unused for a long time. So if you find yourself emotionally eating, and you've done it for years, there's going to be triggers that cause you to want to do it even years down the road. You're going to have to remove the cue or the trigger.
So he says "In long term, we become a product of the environment that we live in. To put it bluntly, I have never seen somebody consistently stick to a positive habit in a negative environment"...
So he gives you an example, "If you can't seem to get any work done, put your phone in the other room"... Your environment is everything, so if you spend most times in your home, and you're working on eating healthy, you need to have healthy food in your home. If you spend a lot of time in your office, then you may need to say I can't go into the employee lounge if it's full of junk. You have to create an environment for you to succeed. If you continuously feel like you're not enough, then you need to unfollow certain people on social media or get rid of it for a certain period of time. "If you're wasting too much time watching TV, remove the TV from your bedroom. If you're spending too much money on electronics, quit reading the reviews of the latest tech gadgets. If you're playing too many video games, unplug the council"... So if you find yourself doing too much of something, you have to remove the trigger. Remove the cue, you got to change the environment for you to have success.
"Self control is short term strategy long term, you're going to have to work on the environment"...
It's super simple, so it just says "Once a habit is formed, it is unlikely to be forgotten. People with high self control tend to spend more time in the tempting situations. One of the most practical ways to eliminate a bad habit is to reduce the exposure. Self control is short term, long term, you need to change the environment".
So that's it, some people might be going well, what else do I do? Let me ask you this question "What is one challenge that you feel like you're working on, to make it into a better habit?" What is something that you are doing or not, what is that bad habit that you want to change... So think about what that is, and what do you have to eliminate. Whether it's in your home or at the office, or maybe it's a way that you drive to get to work you're always driving by this restaurant and it drags you in. Chick Fil A seems to do that.
What is it? Because if you can identify the cue or identify the, the trigger, that is what you have to change. That is what you have to eliminate, that's what you have to get rid of.
Chapter Seven is very self explanatory... I've got to get the cookies off my counter or I've got to remove all of the snacks off my counter. So when I walk by, I don't grab them, I don't eat them, I don't see them and I don't want them. So, this book is great and I hope you're continuously going through it. Join me for the rest of the week, we just did chapter seven and we're doing chapter eight tomorrow.
And then for those of you who are going to do "Miracle Morning", keep going. It's at least 30 days to create a habit.
So I hope this is helpful. I hope you guys have an incredible day. Reach out with any questions that you have, whether you have questions about food, or recipes or how to track or how do I get started, whatever those questions are, reach out. I will answer all of those.
I hope you have an incredible morning and we'll talk to you soon. You're very welcome.
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