"RAIN or SHINE" (Day 17) "True Behavior Change is Identity Change" | Keto Mom Book Club
Updated: Oct 11, 2021
Keto Mom here!
James Clear said "True behavior change is identity change"... "The systems and the behaviors that you're going to create or the habits, starts with changing your identity. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason that you stick with one, is because it becomes a part of who you are". "Anyone can convince themselves to visit a gym or eat healthy once or twice a week. But if you don't shift the belief behind the behavior, then it's hard to stick with long term".
Points to Ponder:
00:51 "Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod
01:08 "Atomic Habits" by James Clear
02:09 It starts with your belief system
02:43 I am not a morning person
03:06 Create systems to reach my goals
03:51 Truth or Trash
05:20 True behavior change is identity change
06:21 It has to become your identity
07:22 The goal is "To become"
08:32 Take ownership
09:32 Shift your story
09:51 Self image gets in the way
10:10 My goal is to shift your perspective
11:30 I wrote the very first page of my book
12:35 Being aware of what you're saying
Full Episode Transcript
Good morning! Welcome to the Keto Mom page, my name is Stephanie. I hope you guys are having a wonderful day, we just got done working out. And we are going to lay sod the rest of the day. So I'm tuning in real quick because I do have something I want to share. So as you're tuning in, where are you tuning in from, and for those of you who are doing the "Rain and Shine" book, I'm not going to go grab it, we are finished with that book, and it was great. If you have not finished it, continue to read it for the next couple days until we reach June 1st. On June 1st, we are diving into two books... The first book we are going to be using is this book "Miracle Morning". If you don't have it, and you want the book with me and follow along with me, order it. Go to a bookstore, order it online. We're going to start June 1st, I'd love to start right now, but I want to make sure everybody has their book. So grab this book ("Miracle Morning"), we're going to dive into it. What I'm going to share with you is the other book we're going to go through in June, called "Atomic Habits" by James Clear.
I'm going to read something to you that I loved... How is your morning? I'm going to share something with you that I did today that I didn't actually believe about myself, but I always hoped for it.
If you know me, you know that we talked about learning and gaining knowledge and wisdom, but the key is action.
So I kept thinking about it, I thought about it for years, but today I took action. So we're going to dive in... I'm going to actually take you through this book in the middle of June, but I'm going to read something to you because we talk about systems and how do we get healthier, how do we get stronger, how do we lose the fat that we want, how do we gain muscle, how do I just make better choices with my food. And I truly one hundred percent believe with everything in me, that it starts with your belief system, "if you can, or you can't", your mindset". What are you putting in your head or in your words, do you have systems in place to reach your goals? So in this book, he says "You don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems". That's why we're starting with this book ("Miracle Morning") first... How many of you tell yourself you're not a morning person? Does anybody ever say on a regular basis or think to themselves, "I am not a morning person". That was me for years, I love to stay up late because I feel I'm most productive at night.
And then I had to rewire my brain, that's what I'm telling myself... I don't have to be a morning person or a night owl, but I'm going to choose what's going to be best for me to create systems to reach my goals.
So your first action step is zip your lips. If the words that are coming out of your mouth are negative, or they cause disbelief, they are not aligning with your goals, or they're not going to help you create systems, then zip your lips.
Your words have the power of life and death. If you don't believe it, it's true, it's biblical and if you're going to speak trash over yourself, that's what you're going to get. If you're going to speak disbelief over yourself, that's what you're going to get. If you're going to speak that "I can't, I'm never, I'm not going to get you, I wish and that's not me", then you get what you look for.
So if there's one action step I'm going to challenge you today, is pay attention to what's coming out of your mouth. Truth or Trash... If it's in your head, we're gonna start with your mindset.
But as soon as it gets out, you give life to that, so pay attention, we teach our kids this all the time. That's why we're going through this book ("Miracle Morning"). Because if you truly want to own your day, own your life, if you don't want to have your life own you, the world own you or other people's systems and other people's goals own you, you're gonna have to start getting up.
You're going to have to start owning your morning and your thoughts. You're going to have to start with your mindset and your words, getting up in the morning with a grateful attitude and a grateful heart.
We're going to start with this ("Miracle Morning") on June 1st, so continue to tune in every single morning, as we chat about how to do it, what systems look like and "Can I be a morning person?" Yes, you can!... What I love about this book ("Atomic Habits") is it dives into what systems are, so I just read this this morning and I want you to hear it. Then we're going to dive into "Atomic Habits" more, and I believe you should have the book because you can highlight, underline, go back to it. I love audibles, I just love them. I get the audible and the book so I can listen to it and internalize it as we're driving, showering or cooking.
For me, to truly change something, I need to have it physically in my hand. Everybody's a different learner, but I need to have it so I can go back to it as a guide. Is this making sense? Okay, listen to this... "True behavior change is identity change", "The systems and the behaviors that you're going to create, the habits, starts with changing your identity. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason that you stick with one is because it becomes a part of who you are". "Anyone can convince themselves to visit a gym or eat healthy once or twice a week. But if you don't shift the belief behind the behavior, then it's hard to stick with long term". So he said, here's an example... "The goal isn't to just read a book, the goal is to become a reader", "The goal isn't to just lose fifty pounds, the goal is to become a healthy version of you". It has to become your identity. "The goal isn't to join the gym, go to the gym, or workout three to five days a week, the goal is to become an athlete".
And you might be going, "I'm not an athlete, but I want to join a gym and I want to work out". But if you decide that you want to work out and create a healthier body, your going to become an athlete. An athlete is not somebody who's in the Olympics, or somebody you see on TV, you can become an athlete when you identify and go, "I'm an athlete". I'm going to get healthier, I'm not just going to lose fifty pounds, I'm going to be healthy. I'm not going to just lift three to five days a week, I'm going to be an athlete.
As soon as you identify with it, it's going to help you create those systems to become who you want to be. He says "The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner", internalize it. "The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician". The goal is "To become", because as soon as you become and you identify it, you're going to keep those systems in place.
You're going to keep going because you've become that person, and it's going to drive you. So he says "Your behaviors are usually a reflection of your identity".
There's so much that I could read, and I would love to just sit in here and read to you all day. But I just want you to know, you are simply acting like the type of person that you want to become, that you believe that you can become, so we've got to work on this. This is why I have you reading, not just to read a book, but to become a reader. To gain some wisdom and knowledge, to take action on that, and to create systems to reach your goals. It's a process... You didn't read the book, "Rain or Shine", instead you are going to become a reader to gain the wisdom, to take action, to create the systems to reach your goals. That's what we are doing here, because if I just tell you what to make for a Keto breakfast, lunch and dinner, or if I just tell you some recipes that you should do. If I should say, "Let's work on moving our body", that's great, but you need to identify with it.
Take ownership of it, so that you can create a lifestyle and not a short term goal to where you fall back next year and come back and start over. We don't want to start over, we want to constantly be moving forward. We will have setbacks, we will have challenges, but if you do not quit, you will not fail.
And so lastly, I would just say this part, he said "Oftentimes people get into their heads. I'm terrible with directions, I'm not a morning person, I'm bad at remembering people's names, I'm always late, I'm not good at with technology, I'm horrible at math.
When you repeat a story to yourself for years, it is easy to slide into the mental grooves and accept that those are the facts". Those are not facts, those are just stories that you tell yourself over and over again. So the book is going to help you shift your story, shift your verbiage, shift your thoughts to recreate them, and to move forward. That is our goal, welcome to the Keto Mom page. Maybe that was a little bit more in depth that you wanted, but I'm super excited. The real reason that you fail to stick with habits is that your self image gets in the way and it's time to shift that. Super excited about this book, if you're brand new, welcome to the Keto Mom page. I promise you, I will give you tips and tricks, ideas and recipes and all the things that you need to know.
But my goal is to shift your perspective of what you actually can do, to make it so it's not a diet, but something you're going to stick with, for the rest of your life.
I used to say, I am not a morning person, and then I've realized that in order for me to create systems and accomplish my goals throughout the day, I had to become a morning person. And I am a morning person, because I decided, I internalized it, and identified with it. Not that it's not easy to get up every single morning if I stay up late, but instead of hitting the snooze button, I'm going to get up. I worked out this morning, I read, and I did all the things I wanted to do.
Which creates systems in my life, now my day is just starting, and I feel incredible because I've done all the things in the morning. Something else that I did today that I'm super excited about... "I've always wanted to write a book". I've said it for years, but until I'm going to identify with it, "I want to do that, but I don't know if I'm a good writer". And I've been telling myself this story, "I'm not as good as that person, or that person". No! I need to stop it, zip my lips and go, "Yes, I'm a writer". I am a writer, whether it takes me one year, or five years, or I just do it for the rest of my life, I'm going to be a writer.
So I wrote the very first page of my book. I don't know the outcome yet, I have not set specific goals. I have a basic outline, but this morning I said "I'm going to write the first page of my book, I am a writer and I'm going to do it"...
I need to get more specific and create SMART goals, I'm going to work on that. But at least I did it, my goal is to get up and at least write a sentence, a paragraph or a page every day. That's what I'm going to do, and I'm excited. Alright, I hope that was helpful... You are worthy of this, you can do this. You can go after goals and you can create systems. You don't have to let the stories in your head, own your life, that have been going over and over again. My action step for you today is... Pay attention to your words, what are the words that are coming out of your mouth that are negative, self sabotaging and that are running your life, then you need to identify those words. It's as simple as just being aware of what you're saying. You might be shocked at some of the things that you're telling yourself, or to your kids or to your employees, your boss or your students. Your words are powerful... If they are not speaking life, zip your lips, lock that key, throw it away, and we're going to replace those words with empowering words to identify who you are. Okay, that's all I've got for you today is sod day. So if you follow me on my stories, you're going to see us laying a whole lot of sods. So I hope you guys have an incredible morning.
Reach out with any questions that you have, I'm always here to help and we'll talk to you soon.
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